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He grimaced. “Dad’s already gone.”
I slid off to his side. “But, I thought you said—”
He sighed. “He and my stepmother got into another fight last night. I mean, a really good fight. The hospital threw them out. I haven’t seen either of them since.”
“Then maybe your father is still in town. Just not allowed back in the hospital.”
“He called me to let me know he’d be back before I was released.”
The flatness of Clint’s voice turned my stomach. I took his hand, lacing our fingers together as I rested my head against his good shoulder. He drew in broken breaths, trying so hard to stay strong when I knew all he wanted to do was be weak.
I kissed his arm. “It’s just me. You can let it out.”
“He fucking left me, Rae. To rot in this hospital bed. And Cecilia isn’t allowed back in the hospital. At least until tomorrow morning. And I have no one. Just the doctors and the nurse staff who come in here with their pitiful glances and their small talk.”
“You have me.”
He snickered. “Thank fuck for that.”
I nuzzled against him. I watched his chest jump as his voice hiccuped. I gazed into his face, watching as tears rushed down his cheeks. I sat up, wiping at them softly with my fingertips. I grabbed his drink and put the straw to his lips, giving his trembling lip something to do.
“I’m right here. I won’t go anywhere if you don’t want me to.”
He swallowed down the liquid. “I just—don’t understand.”
I rubbed his arm. “What don’t you understand?”
He closed his eyes. “Why my father doesn’t love me.”
I didn’t know how to answer him. I didn’t know what to tell him. The only thing I could do was be there for him, so I settled deeper into his side. I watched him cry silent tears as he held his sounds back, his chest hiccupping with pain and anger and sadness.
“Clint, I—”
He sniffled. “For years, it’s been this way. For years, my father has seen me as nothing. But, I mean, even the last time I was in the hospital, he was here. Present. Sure, typing away on his laptop and taking phone calls. I’d fallen out of a fucking tree and jammed my neck. And every time I woke up, he was at my bedside. Working, yes. But here. And now? He’s nowhere to be found. On a jet somewhere, or chilling on some island with a cocktail in his hand while the only person who’s been at my side since I was admitted to the hospital sits at home, by herself, because of him!”
I cupped his cheek. “I’m so sorry, Clint.”
“My father is a good-for-nothing piece of shit. And he thinks that, for some reason, being back before I’m discharged is good enough. Like, sure. I’ll leave you while you’re in the hospital. While you’re hooked up to tubes and in ICU. But, at least I’ll be here by the time they take your fucking catheter out.”
I leaned his bed back as he closed his eyes. Something in the pit of my gut told me he wanted to lean back, so I laid him down. I tucked the blankets around him tightly because I really didn’t know what else to do.
Other than listen, of course.
He murmured, “Thanks.”
I shook my head. “No thanks needed. I just wish I had something to tell you. Or advice to give.”
He snickered. “There’s no advice when it comes to my father. He treats me like a nuisance rather than a fucking son.”
“I’d do anything to take your pain away, Clint. All of it. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it.”
“I know you would. But I wouldn't let you. I’ve been dealing with this for a long time. I can do it for a few more months.”
“If it makes you feel any better, you’re right. He’s a piece of shit human being who doesn’t deserve the type of son you are in his life.”
He scoffed. “I’m not anything special. It’s not like I made things easy on him.”
I nodded. “I’m sure that’s true. But at one point in time, you were nothing but an innocent boy. A boy who missed his mother and didn’t understand the world. Anger begets anger, Clint. You are this way and you act this way because you’ve learned to survive your father. Not thrive alongside him. And that’s your father’s fault.”
