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“But… our budget?”
She sighed. “I can buy my daughter some accessories to go with her graduation dress.”
I narrowed my eyes playfully. “You found some money in your purse, didn’t you?”
“Yes. And I want to spoil my daughter with it.”
I shook my head, but deep down I was screaming with delight. I hadn’t spent a day with my mom in years. And I couldn't wait to go out with her. Plus, I had a bit of my own money to spend. My paycheck from the grocery store had a nice bump in it because of my raise. So, I silently decided to treat Mom to lunch while we were out.
But first, I had to tell the gang I wasn’t coming.
Me: Hey, Clint. I won’t be at school today. Mom and I are spending some time together. I’m sorry for missing school, but Allison can help you with things today for classes. Text me if you need anything.
I sent the message off and didn't have to wait long to get a response.
Clint: You two have a blast. Have fun, and I’ll let you know how things go at the apartment after school.
I slipped my phone back into my purse and dropped my backpack to the floor. Mom came over and hugged me, holding me for the longest time. I sighed. I relished her touch. Her embrace. Her companionship. I closed my eyes and sank my cheek against her shoulder, feeling embraced by a mother I’d lost some time ago.
“I’m so sorry, Rae.”
I shook my head. “Stop. It’s in the past. We can only go forward, okay?”
Mom snickered. “I don't know when you grew up on me.”
“And that’s okay. Just keep getting better. For me, and for yourself.”
She set her coffee down and swayed side to side, rocking me like she used to when I was a child. I felt myself falling back into those memories. Into the first memory I had of gazing up into my mother’s face. I’d been sick with the flu. Coughing and unable to sleep. Hurting in places I didn’t understand. And she had been there, with her own version of the flu. Making me sip water, giving me popsicles, and singing my favorite lullaby.
“Hush little Raelynn, don’t say a word. Momma’s gonna buy you a mockingbird.”
My eyes welled with tears as she started singing it to me. Right there, in my ear, as we swayed in the kitchen. I didn’t even try holding back my tears. I simply let them fall, dragging with them the pain and anguish I’d dealt with for all of my teenage years. I shook against my mom. I felt her wrap me up tight. My knees clicked together and my toes curled as I tried keeping up my strength.
With Mom singing in my ear.
“I’ve missed you so much, Mom.”
She sighed. “I love you so much, Rae.”
“Can we just—stay like this for a bit?”
“For however long you want, princess.”
I don’t know how much time we spent in that kitchen. But after a while, Mom started moving. Walking me down the hallway as I kept clinging to her. She walked us into the living room. We sat down on the couch we had occupied for hours last night. I crawled into her lap. Eighteen years old, five-foot-six, and one hundred and fifty-two pounds. All of me curled against her. And her arms somehow still wrapped around me. Her hands locked, her lips fell against my forehead, and she kissed me. Repeatedly. As the tears continued falling.
“Hush little Raelynn, don’t you hurt. Momma’s gonna promise to keep her word. And if this Momma does relapse, you have permission to kick her ass.”
I sputtered with laughter as I sniffed back more tears. My head fell against her shoulder as she looked down at me. Still the giant of a woman I’d always known, despite the fact that we were the same height. My tears dried up as she smiled at me. I slowly raised my head as I slipped off to the side. With her arm around my back and my legs tossed into her lap, she settled into the couch. Smiling at me with a happiness I hadn’t seen in her face since… well?
Since, ever.
“Independence looks good on you, Mom.”
She snickered. “Let’s just hope it stays that way. I’m getting old, you know.”
“Oh, boo. You’re hardly in your forties.”
“That’s almost mid-life crisis age.”
