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“Well, it’s pretty clear she doesn’t want me at this party,” I said.
Mike sighed. “Dude, you can’t think about--”
“And if she didn’t want me here, then she should have come alone. Left me at the hotel. Or back home, for all I care.”
“Wait a second, I thought we ended this shit on a good note. What’s happening? Talk to me.”
I shrugged off Mike’s hand. “You’re right, but I’m also right. It’s been very clear to me all night that she hasn’t wanted me here with her. At her side. Hanging out with her and making memories. She didn’t want me on campus with her. She didn’t want me to help her with her mother before we came here. If she didn’t want me around on this damn trip, she shouldn't have brought me.”
“Co--come on, Clint! Please, don’t be a drama queen.”
I shook my head and
made my way off the porch. If Rae needed space, then I needed space. I stormed around the house and made my way into the backyard. I headed straight for the makeshift bar, reached behind it and picked up two beer bottles. I cracked both of them open, then turned around and held one out.
Knowing damn good and well Mike would be there to take it.
“You sure about this?” he asked.
I clinked my bottle against his. “To not chasing the girls down.”
He sighed. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”
I chugged the beer back and my love for it came rushing to the forefront of my memory. I groaned with every gulp. I sighed with relief at the burn working its way down my throat. I tossed the empty bottle in the trash can before reaching for another one, cracking it open on the edge of the bar.
And as I threw the second one back with ease, a crowd gathered around me.
“Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Yeah!”
The crowd cheered as I tossed the second one into the bin. I reached for another and broke that one open with my fucking teeth. I held the bottle up and spit the cap out, watching in my peripheral as Mike stepped away. The crowd shut him out, pushing him all the way to the back as he stumbled around with the beer in his hand.
And as I watched him make his way into the house, I gulped down my third consecutive beer.
“Chug that beer! Chug that beer! Chug that beer! Yeah!”
I had people step up to compete, throwing up before getting their second beer down. People offered me shots and I chased them back with beers and cocktails. I filled my stomach with more alcohol than I’d had in months. It tasted amazing. I felt myself relaxing. And as the crowd of college students slowly grew around me, I found myself in a drinking contest with three other muscley men.
“My money’s on the bald one.”
“Nope, the one in the blue shirt.”
“My money’s on the guy still drinking. Get him, freshy!”
I chuckled at the nickname as all care and accountability for my life fell to the wayside. I felt the old Clint emerging. But I welcomed it. I didn’t stuff him down or try to get him to go away. I brought him out to play as I made new friends. Girls in scanty outfits offered me snacks to soak up the alcohol, winking at me. And all I did was nod. None of them held a candle to Rae. Not in body, not in spirit, and not in soul. I wanted to drink until Rae’s memory fell away from my mind. Until her words were drowned out by the beer and tequila washing through my system.
I wanted to drink until I didn’t remember this night at all.
Because if she could, then so could I.
“Yeah!” the kids cheered.
“I’m Leslie.”
“I’m Carlie.”
“I’m Ashley.”
I snickered. “You three plan those names, or what?”
