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He slams his palm to the wall next to her head with an alarming bang. “I’m nothing like him and you know it,” he bellows. “But I can act just like him if that’s what it takes to make you back off.”
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nbsp; “I’ve missed the feeling of you against me, baby,” she teases, looking at me as he tightens his hand, cutting off her voice.
“Emmett! Stop it!” I cry out, scared of what he’ll do to Vivian if she doesn’t stop encouraging him. But mostly because I can’t stand to hear her talk to him that way, and I don’t want his hands anywhere on her body.
He’s in a rage trance and doesn’t move. I race over and pull back on his arms, forcing him to let go. “That’s enough,” my voice booms with a surprising intensity.
“Good job keeping your boy in line, Ophelia,” Lily taunts from over my shoulder. “If you had let them go any longer, you may have seen some things you didn’t like. I heard they get real freaky together in bed.”
The words twist in my ears with a terrible ringing, and I wish I’d never heard them. I have done my best not to picture them together in that way, telling myself that maybe their whole relationship was just for show. I always knew that wasn’t true, but it helped save me from torturing myself.
“Let’s go, Emmett,” I command softly, wanting to be anywhere but here.
“Not until she promises to leave you alone,” he snarls, his body frozen and stiff as I try to tug him away.
Vivian flashes me a daring look, and I realize that Emmett was right all along. This is exactly what she wanted. To get Emmett’s attention, good or bad. And me being here to watch only makes it better for her. This is what I did to her once upon a time. As much as I want to believe I am somehow better than Vivian, it’s hard to feel that way now. In fact, I feel like I deserve this no matter how much it hurts.
Are we both just messed up girls who got roped into his charms? I have no way of knowing their relationship didn’t start the exact same way ours did. And before I know it, maybe some other girl will come along and get him riled up like this all over again, if Vivian doesn’t steal him back first. One way or another, the connection we supposedly share will mean nothing then, and I’ll be cast aside just like Vivian.
“Say you’ll let her be,” he tries again, rearing back like he might pounce again. Vivian braces against the wall with a seductive gasp, one that’s scared and inviting all at once.
“It looks like your man doesn’t want to leave right now, Ophelia,” she taunts, running her tongue across her bottom lip.
I keep trying to cling to my sympathy for her, but the more she carries on, all I can feel is anger. I’ve taken her once before in the cafeteria, up until Emmett pulled me off of her. I could do it again.
“Maybe he’s remembering all the things he misses about me,” she continues. “You and I should hang out sometime. I could give you some pointers about how to keep him satisfied. You know he likes…”
I’m convinced if she wasn’t in the picture, everything would be perfect with us for once. Even if we were still struggling to figure out what happened to Bernadette. My mind goes to the darkest places, mulling over thoughts I wish weren’t there. If only Vivian was gone. I shutter it all away. This town is corrupting me. Turning me into one of them, and I hate myself for it. But is it the town or Emmett? Maybe this is just what he does to girls.
I barrel forward all at once without thinking, shoving Emmett aside. My fist slams into Vivian’s nose, drawing blood. This is the second time I’ve made her nose bleed, and both times have been equally as satisfying. It’s like a switch has been flipped in my brain, and suddenly I can’t relate to her or feel bad for her at all. A primal jealous rage takes me over as I pull back to hit her again, but my fist is caught in midair. I turn to see Lily holding me back, but Emmett quickly rushes in to take me into his own arms.
“This isn’t over,” Emmett glares at them as he carries me away.
“Oh, I know it’s not, baby,” Vivian teases.
I start flailing in his arms, dying to have another go at her. I don’t even recognize myself in the foyer mirror as Emmett hauls me towards the front door. Before coming to WJ Prep, I don’t think I had hit another human being since grade school. And now I feel like these people are turning me into a monster.
My nostrils are still flaring when he pushes me into the passenger seat of his car. I slide down into the dark seat, saying nothing as he drives off into the night. I’m ashamed for not listening to him when he warned me this was exactly what Vivian wanted. But now I feel less protected than ever. Sure, Emmett reversed all of their damage at school, but it won’t stop them from trying something again. Maybe something worse that he won’t be able to fix.
More than that, I hate myself for losing my temper the exact same way Emmett does. It’s the side of him that I can’t stand, but apparently it’s the side Vivian gets off on. Their terrible words ring through my head, and I have to bury my face in my hands to make it stop.
I remember Emmett once trying to tell me we were both fucked up. That neither of us were perfect or had it all figured out, and I was furious. It felt like he was trying to rationalize his own sins away. Everything he had done was far worse, and I didn’t want to let him forget that. But now I’m wondering if he was right. Maybe I am just as fucked up, and that’s what drew me to him in the first place.
“Take me to your hotel room!” I shout out suddenly, desperately needing to be back there with him.
I can’t face my mom like this, and I need to feel close to him again. To erase everything that just happened at Lily’s. They’ll never let him come up to my room this late. Not after my mom’s already been wary of him and my behavior all day.
I feel like I am letting her down. I promised Emmett wouldn’t hurt me and that everything would be okay, but nothing feels okay right now. In one day, I had to track down my father, was forced to take heroin, and then watched Emmett threaten to strangle Vivian before jumping on top of her myself. I’m exhausted, but somehow still writhing with energy for one thing and one thing only.
I need Emmett. Now.
10
Chapter Ten
We’re fueled on nothing but anger, frustration, and lust as I follow closely behind Emmett into his motel room. The second the door locks, I’m pushing him up against the wall with our tongues crashing together. Our hands grip around each other’s throats in desperation. I try not to think about seeing Emmett strangle Vivian or the memories of him doing the same to me. My need to push it away just rushes my hands faster over his body.
