Success.I tried not to let it go to my head.“I would hope so because I’d need you.”All I could do was pray that wouldn’t be necessary and that Nico hadn’t chosen tonight to deviate from his rigid schedule.
My heart fluttered like a hummingbird’s wings as I went to the elevator, barely breathing the whole way, my heart in my throat as I used my badge to gain access to the top floor.I could do this.It had to be done.Dad had to know I knew.It didn’t hit me until I was halfway to the top floor that I’d been hoping all along he might have a change of heart.Maybe I could get through to him somehow.
The floor was quiet, Dad’s office door open.I hesitated for a second once I stepped out of the elevator, listening for the sound of voices.I heard nothing but soft music coming from the stereo, something from the sixties.I would never listen to oldies without thinking of him and Mom.Back when we used to take day trips in the car when she would sing slightly off-key but with more gusto than anybody I had ever known.She lived with gusto, never giving a damn if she looked silly.
And then she left us with no warning or explanation when I was all of ten years old.I couldn’t help but think of her fondly, though, no matter how much it still hurt to be forgotten.
Get it over with.I forced myself to approach the door since my discomfort was a hell of a lot less important than the agony those girls were going through being shuffled at gunpoint.I could not let him get away with another one of those shipments.
Even if this were the last thing I wanted to do, nothing would be the same between us.Then again, it already would never be the same.The second I accidentally witnessed that so-called shipment, he had ceased to be the man I thought I knew.
Still, seeing him eating his favorite dinner at his desk—a deluxe cheeseburger from the kitchen, salad instead of fries, extra coleslaw—stirred fondness in my chest.He was a creature of habit.
Before I could announce my presence, he looked up and noticed me standing in the doorway.“Oh.”He put down the burger, wiping his mouth on the napkin tucked into his collar before using it on his hands.“Nova, honey, what brings you here?”Was it my imagination, or had his voice gone slightly higher like somebody was squeezing his balls?
“I can’t say I’m sorry to show up unannounced.”I slowly walked farther into the room, closer to him.The desk between us might as well have been his shield.He sat up straighter in his swivel chair, arching an eyebrow as I approached.“But you’ve been going out of your way to avoid me lately.”
“Sweetheart.You know how busy I’ve been.”His excuse was weak, pitiful, and I couldn’t hide my disappointment as I shook my head slowly, still holding his gaze.
“I know exactly what you’ve been busy doing.I’ve seen it twice now.”My knees threatened to go out, but I fought through it.I wasn’t a little girl anymore.It was time to start facing some things.“How can you do it?When did it start?”
His forehead furrowing, he asked, “Exactly what do you think you saw?Maybe we should start there.”
How could he still sound so confused?Anger began to heat my blood, which had until now run cold.“I know exactly what I saw, Dad.The girls downstairs in the parking lot.I saw them.Who were they?Why are you doing this?”I demanded.
He wanted to keep pretending.I saw it on his tanned, lined face, the uncertainty flashing over it.I hadn’t seen him looking like this since Mom left.“Have you been doing it all this time?”I asked before he had the chance to come up with a lie.“Is that why she left?Because she knew you were transporting these girls, selling them to people, and she couldn’t be part of it?”
Jekyll and Hyde.That was what came to mind when his expression flipped all at once without warning.What started as affable confusion hardened into something ugly.“Why would you say something like that to me?”He had never looked at me this way before.Other people, sure.Adversaries, employees who pissed him off, rivals he believed tried to take advantage of him, but not me.Not with rage barely simmering beneath the surface.
“Because it’s what you do, isn’t it?They go out in a van.How do you do it?”I asked.“Do you give them fake papers, pretend they work here?Is that why you’ve been urging me to take time off before I start working here?What?You haven’t wanted me around, learning the ropes?You don’t want me noticing the paper trail?”It all made sense—twisted, ugly sense.
“You don’t have the first idea what you’re talking about,” he warned in a whisper that brought to mind a snake’s hiss.“What do you think this is, a game?”
“No,” I whispered back, shaking my head mournfully.“It’s not a game.Not to me, and definitely not to those women.Girls, even younger than your own daughter.How can you profit from their misery?”
His complexion darkened alarmingly, going from red to a shade of purple that couldn’t have been a good sign.“I’m going to tell you one more time, and we are dropping the subject.You don’t know what you’re talking about.You need to forget about it.Who are they to you, goddammit?”he shouted, his voice loud enough to make me flinch.
My heart was breaking.That had to be where the pain in my chest was coming from.How could my father be so cruel?“It doesn’t matter who they are to me.What matters is what you’re doing to them.When did it start?Did Nico talk you into it?”
“Enough!”He slammed his hands against the desk once, twice, before bolting up from his chair fast enough to make it hit the wall behind him.“You don’t walk in here and question me, young lady.I am your father!”
“Just tell me the truth, Dad.I want to hearyousay it.”I wept, almost choking on my disappointment in him.“The truth, whatever it is.Be honest with me.”
“You want the truth?People do what they have to do in this world,” he snarled, baring his teeth, an entirely different man than the one I thought I knew—the loving, devoted father, always eager to give me everything I wanted, never a harsh word.
He rounded the desk, glaring at me with every step, the chandelier overhead making his bald dome gleam.I could almost believe he hated me.That was the look he wore, the energy pulsing from him.“You come in here thinking you understand.What, because you lived in England for a couple of years?To attend a school that I paid for, by the way?”he reminded me, coming to a stop directly in front of me, only feet away.It might as well have been miles.We were that far apart.
“You taught me the difference between right and wrong,” I reminded him in a choked whisper full of sorrow and betrayal.He hadn’t come straight out and admitted it, no, but the way he danced around the subject and talked about the things people needed to do told me enough.“What I saw was wrong.Try to absolve yourself all you want, it doesn’t matter, and you know it, or you wouldn’t be so angry with me now.I’m the person you raised,” I reminded him, my voice shaking, pain edging every word.
“Then be the girl I raised and get the hell out of here,” he hissed, spittle flying, dark eyes glaring.Eyes so much like mine, only harder.“Be smart enough to know when you’re in over your head.Trust me,” he added with a bitter, chilling laugh.“Consider yourself lucky you have the chance to walk away.Not everyone gets that lucky.”
“Boss?”
I spun with a gasp, my stomach dropping like I started at the descent down a rollercoaster.Standing in the doorway, Nico spoke to my father but stared at me.“I just came up for my phone.Is there a problem?”
Shit.He wouldn’t hurt me in front of Dad, would he?I had to believe that, or else I was done for.It would mean there was nothing left of my father if the man I thought he was ever existed in the first place.
“No, there’s no problem.”Dad breathed slowly, shakily, as he leaned his ass against the edge of his desk.“Nova was just leaving.Weren’t you, Nova?”
