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I sit on the edge of the bed and look at the line of envelopes leading away from me. Away from Jameson. A tinge of sadness hits me as Lily’s face flashes before my eyes. I can remember sitting across from her in her family’s restaurant sipping on cocktails. We talked about this very thing. We counted down the days to our escape from Jameson, but now it seems like she may never make it out of here.
First, the Elites destroyed her chances at getting in anywhere. Emmett eventually fixed that, but her obsession with him landed her in the looney bin. She may have done terrible things, but I still wish she could have had the chance to know what I am feeling right now. Without Jameson, she may have been able to move on and live a normal life. Vivian sure seems to have found that.
I let out a big sigh, suddenly feeling anxious about the threat of the Elites. Why haven’t they ruined my chances of getting into college like the old Elites did with Lily? Maybe Bridgett was right and ultimately, they have bigger things to worry about. Or maybe they still see Theo as a threat and want me out of Jameson just as bad as I do.
“Ophelia?” my mom calls out from behind my bedroom door with a light tap.
“Come in!” I answer, scrambling to collect the line of letters. My eyes start to tear up as I prepare myself to tell her all the good news.
“Hey sweetie, you left your backpack in the middle of the floor,” she scolds as she comes in and hangs it on my closet door. She turns back to me with a look of disappointment, but she perks up when she sees me standing there with watery eyes. “What do you have there?” She points to the papers in my hands.
“Acceptance letters,” I reply, my voice cracking with happy tears.
Her eyes grow wide and also start to well up, but she quickly snaps out of it and rushes over to give me a big hug. “Accep
tances!?” she beams. “Where did you get in!?”
We plop down on my bed as I hand them all over, letting her inspect them for herself. “Everywhere so far,” I tell her with a deep and shaky exhale. “With scholarship offers at almost all of them.”
She skims over each one, shaking her head with overwhelming emotion. “This is amazing,” she murmurs as she reads. “Ophelia, I am so, so proud of you.” She sweeps her arms around me again, squeezing tight. “We have to celebrate! Dinner anywhere you want tonight. You pick the restaurant. Brendan can join us when he gets off work and you can invite Emmett.”
“Uh, let’s just keep it down to you, me, and Brendan,” I suggest, awkwardly rubbing my arms. “We hardly ever have time with just the three of us anymore.”
She looks down at the letters more thoughtfully. “I guess you’ll be leaving us soon,” she says sadly, trying to hide her dismay with a smile. “We should get in as much quality time as we can.”
I lunge forward to hug her again. “Don’t worry,” I assure her. “We will.”
“So…which one do you think you’ll pick?” she asks, wiping her eyes. “Or do you know yet?”
“I don’t know yet,” I shake my head with wide eyes, still stuck in some disbelief.
“Whichever one you choose, we’ll find a way to make it work,” she insists. I know she’s thinking back on our conversation about accepting Theo’s financial help, but I’m not ready to broach that topic again.
“Well…I do have a favorite,” I explain hesitantly. “I haven’t made up my mind, but there is one in particular…”
“Which one!?” she asks excitedly. I pull out one of the envelopes from her hand and hold it up as if I’m too afraid or nervous to say it out loud. “It’s in Southern California,” she whispers to herself. “That’s so far away!” The sadness in her eyes shows through again, followed by a panicked look. But she’s quick to swallow it all down for my sake. “Tell me about it. Why is it your top pick?”
I start getting ready for our dinner as she sits on my bed and listens carefully. I ramble on and on about the school in California and all it has to offer.
“It sounds amazing,” she beams once I’ve finished. “And perfect for you. I think you should go. Trust your gut. Of course, I’m not thrilled about you moving to the other side of the country. But it’s only an eight-hour flight, I think. And it gives me an excuse to move there when we can afford it,” she winks.
“Well…I should wait until I hear from the rest of the schools I applied to before I decide…and…,” I trail off, feeling worried about even seriously considering California.
“What’s wrong?” she asks. “What is it?”
I sigh and collapse back down to the edge of the bed. “It’s Emmett,” I confess with my heart feeling heavy. “He wants to move with me when I go, but…it’s so expensive there. And when I was researching it, I learned it’s really, really hard to find a job there. Like almost impossible. He’s running out of money and has no work experience. I don’t know what he’d do. I don’t know if he could come with me.”
I avoid telling her that secretly I wonder if he’d be better off staying here and working with Theo. It’s not the life I want for him, and definitely a life I want no part of. But condoning it is almost easier than my constant fear and panic of it coming true whether I like it or not. And I’m still worried that maybe that’s all Emmett has the strength to settle for at this point in his life.
“I know you two love each other,” she nods in deep thought. “It would hurt to leave him, but Emmett isn’t your responsibility. You can’t put your life on hold or settle for less than what you want just for him.”
“I know,” I answer softly. “I have a lot to think about anyway. For now, let’s go eat! I know exactly where I want to go!”
My mom freshens up as well and then we hop into her car and head downtown to the restaurant of my choice. Gusto’s is an Italian restaurant. My favorite kind of food second only to Mexican, but I don’t dare ask my mom to go to any Mexican restaurants around here. We quickly learned within our first few weeks in Jameson that none of them are authentic and can’t hold a candle to what my mom cooks at home.
Brendan meets us at the restaurant a half-hour later after he finishes up at work. They both rave about how proud they are of me, making me blush. I’m proud of myself too but doing my best to stay humble. We laugh and joke and, for a moment, I forget we’re in Jameson at all. The Elites and everything with Emmett feels a million miles away. I smile every time I remember that by Fall, I will be many miles away from here.
But then I look across the table and my mom and stepdad and realize how much I will miss them. Part of me wants to tell them to accept Theo’s offer to help just so they can follow me wherever I go. I swallow down a hard lump in my throat realizing it never occurred to me to consider that option for helping Emmett to follow me.
