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I want to look forward to this big high school milestone. I want to daydream and fantasize about the magical night we could have together, making memories. But all I keep thinking of is what happens after prom. If we have to part ways when I move, what’s the point? Why delay the inevitable? And even if we stay together, do I lose him to Theo’s world? It’s the world he was born to live in, after all.
I’m so quick to get inside and get the whole thing over with, thinking maybe it will be fun to spend some time with my mom regardless. I don’t even notice the car parked out front until I hear the familiar voice echoing from the dining room.
Theo. Again. In my house. The last fucking thing I wanted to come home to. I try to be as quiet as possible as I peek around the corner to see him and my mom talking. I can’t make out what they’re discussing, but it’s obviously so enthralling they didn’t even hear me come in. I take my chance to dart upstairs and wait for him to leave.
My mom knocks on my door a little while later and asks if I’m ready to go. I resist even asking what Theo was visiting for this time. It feels like I can’t get away from him no matter where I turn, and the last thing I want to do is talk about him any more than I absolutely have to.
She asks normal questions as we drive to the first shopping strip. How’s school going? Stressful, but fine. How’s track? My favorite thing in the world, as usual. College plans? Still freaking me the hell out.
I walk through the first boutique, doing my best to get into dress shopping, at least for my mom’s sake. But none of the froofy gowns are appealing to me. My mom stays positive and suggests a hundred different cuts and colors. But after three more stores and still nothing I like enough to buy. We decide to take a break for burgers and milkshakes.
“Do you remember when we used to do this all the time?” she asks, swirling a fry in her chocolate shake. “I’d bring you to these little diners when you were a kid. You didn’t believe me at first when I told you how good a fry dipped in chocolate could taste.”
“It still surprises me,” I laugh as I do the same.
We’re mostly quiet as we eat. By the time my mom has cleaned most of her plate, she takes a stab at addressing the obvious.
“Everything okay?” she asks. “You don’t seem too excited about any of the dresses we’ve seen so far. I think we’re running out of stores we can afford.”
I shrug and stare at my plate, unsure of how to explain the problem. “Emmett and I are kind of fighting,” I confess finally. “I guess it will all be fine. It’s just kind of putting a damper on the idea of prom right now.”
“Ah,” she says with a knowing smile. “I guess that would do it. It must be in the air. Brendan and I seem to be having some trouble ourselves these days.”
She says it so casually, but my stomach drops. “What?” I blink. “What do you mean? What kind of trouble?”
“It’s nothing to worry about,” she assures me. “It’s just normal couple stuff. I just wanted you to know it happens is all. Especially after you’ve been together a while and the honeymoon phase has worn off.”
My mind drifts back to her and Theo sitting alone at the kitchen table and I immediately jump to all of the worst possible conclusions.
“Theo?” I ask, my voice filled with dread. “Is it him? God dammit! I knew it. He’s going to fuck up absolutely everything.”
“Ophelia Lopez! Language!” she scolds. “It has nothing to do with Theo. I promise you. All couples fight. That’s all I meant.”
“Well then how come you’ve never mentioned having problems with Brendan before?” I argue.
“Because it’s private,” she states bluntly. “But also…you’re older now. Practically an adult. I feel like you and I can start talking about more things now. That’s the beauty of an adult mother and daughter relationship. I don’t have to be mean old mom all the time. I can be more of a friend now. Friends talk about their problems.”
I want to feel better, but I don’t. My mom hasn’t been around Theo since I was a baby, and I can’t help but worry that maybe she’s forgotten just how manipulative he can be. He’s won over Emmett. He could win her over too. I remember the flash of jealousy I saw on Theo’s face at our last dinner and wonder if he really could be driving a wedge between her and Brendan without her even realizing it.
“Well, what do you think?” M
y mom asks once the last of our food is tucked away into leftover boxes. “Should we try one more store or are you over shopping for the day?”
“I’m down for one more,” I tell her, still feeling heavy with concern. But the idea of avoiding home a little longer and spending some quality time with her is too good to pass up. Moments like this are becoming more precious since I know I’ll be leaving soon.
I notice the other whiney teenage girls shopping with their moms, seeming bothered that their mothers have to be tagging along at all. Then I see other girls shopping in groups with each other, probably not even bothering to wonder if their moms would have liked to have been there.
I know as a teenager it’d be normal for me to be so annoyed by my mom that I can’t stand to be around her. But we’ve never had that kind of relationship. We’ve both been through so much and it’s made us close. My heart aches to think of a time when we’ll live so far apart. I vow to myself right then and there that I will be one of those girls that calls her mom every single day.
Once we start digging into the next store, I’m immediately glad we did. After only a few minutes of browsing, I come across a dark blue gown that piques my interest. It’s short but cascades down in the back. The fabric flares out from the waist, which is something I normally wouldn’t like, but I can’t resist the urge to try it on.
My mom tears up when I step out of the dressing room, which seems dramatic, but I honestly feel just as excited about it. The short front is somewhat revealing and emphasizes the muscular curves of my long, tan legs.
“This is it,” I say confidently as I study my reflection in the mirror, turning side to side.
I can imagine Emmett in a nice tux standing next to me with my arm looped into his. All of the anger and worry that’s been building up in my heart finally softens a little, even if there’s still a lingering sadness. Whatever happens, when the time comes for me to leave Jameson, I’m excited that we’ll have such a special night to share. I have that much at least.
We’re excited but exhausted as we pay for the dress and head home. I’m just as eager as she is to slip into some comfy pajamas and veg out on the couch for a bit before going to bed. But I notice something odd as our house comes into view. Two dark figures are bouncing around on the lawn.
