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“Jeff,” my mother and I both warn.
“Sorry, bad joke. Alright, I’m gonna say this once and then I’ll let your mother and you talk.” He takes a deep breath and stops my hand, grabbing it and placing it to his heart.
“The day you were born, I stopped being a selfish teenager and became a man. I remember how smug I was and I never thought I was good enough to be with your mother. However, she thought different and stayed with me against her parents’ will.” Looking up at her, he winks and I smirk at their sweet exchange.
“Anyway, I became a man that day and not a day goes by that I don’t think of that tiny little baby girl in my arms and how I promised I would be the only man she needed. How I would never let anyone hurt her. You gave me this look and I can’t describe it, you saw only me, you gave me your heart that day, Lana. I need you to look me in the eye and tell me what you love most about Kingston and if it’s the right answer I will never second guess you guys again. I will let him take a place beside you.”
I swallow back the tears and I smile when
I think of the words playing on the tip of my tongue, the one thing that will always bring me back to him. “I trust him, dad. He’s my best friend.”
“Well shit.” He brings my hand to his lips. Closing his eyes, he lingers for a second. “I love you, Lana and I trust that you know what you’re doing. That look you just gave me, that was the same look you’ve given me the past twenty-two years.”
“Dad,” I whimper, my chest tight.
“Now, you go to him Lana. You make this right.” I watch him stand and leave the room, hiding his tears from me, his hasty retreat a defense mechanism. My father never cries in front of me, ever. I debate going after him and hugging him, telling him thank you, but my mom stops me.
“Mom?” Looking to her for answers she just shrugs her shoulders.
“Go to him, that’s your best friend and you can’t run away or push him away when things get too hard, Lana. That’s the father of your child, so be an adult and go make things right.” I wipe my eyes, shaking my head.
“I can’t. I don’t know where he is and I know he won’t answer his phone.” I don’t blame him for it either, I didn’t even hear him out and I let him walk away without a fight.
“I do. He texted me and told me, said to tell you so you didn’t worry. He’s at the Hyatt in Draper.”
“Why didn’t he just text me?” I ask standing fast, searching for my shoes.
“He’s not that strong all the time, Lana. He would’ve cracked and came back with just a whisper from you.” She chuckles and I throw her a smile.
“True. Can I borrow your keys?” I ask, my breath now heavy from all the fast movements.
“Yes, they’re downstairs.” I go to give her a kiss on the cheek, pulling away I remember my dad.
“What about dad?”
“I got it, now go make things right!” She pats my butt and I give her a thank you hug then leave the house as fast as humanly possible.
“Drive safe!” she yells before I slam the door shut.
After spending a decent amount of time convincing the lady at the front desk to let me have Kingston’s room number, I finally make it to his room. I knock, debating on busting the door down. When it opens I’m greeted by his wet form covered in only a towel around his waist, the sound of running water coming from the bathroom.
I lose my mind for a minute and unabashedly check him out like a piece of meat.
“Lana? What are you doing here?” he asks, breaking my haze.
Stuttering I reply, “I...I just..I’m sorry Kingston, I was so wrong.” He moves aside and I walk in, waiting until he shuts the door to wrap my arms around him. I stand on my tiptoes and engulf him with my body, my legs wrapping around his hips, my arms around his neck. Losing his towel during the process he returns my embrace, my mouth finds his ear and I apologize repeatedly.
“I’m so sorry, baby. You’re the most important man in my life. I don’t know why I didn’t fight for you to stay.” I let all my emotions go, desperately needing his forgiveness. I want him to know that he’s my keeper and I was wrong to not chose him, to not defend him when someone hurt him.
“Lana, stop, baby. It’s okay. Stop crying. I hate it when you fucking cry.”
“I deserve it. You’re not him and for the past four years you’ve been fighting for me, trying so hard to love me in a way I’ve never had love and I’m sorry that I let someone say mean things like that to you.” I pepper him with kisses, his cheeks, his nose, his lips, his chin and neck, anywhere my lips can reach from my position in his arms.
“Baby, shh it’s okay. Just relax, you’re freezing and shaking.” He sets me down, his hands moving from my hips to just under my breasts.
“It’s the adrenaline. I sped all the way here.” I laugh.
“Lana, you shouldn’t speed, you and my baby are delicate cargo.”
