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Joel: Good. Oh, Hilary stopped by tonight, she forgot some shit. I put it by the door. leave it there and I will take it to her tomorrow.
My eyes nearly bulge out of my head while they burn with the promise of tears.
Me: What things Joel...and Hilary, Kingston’s ex, Hilary?
I know what things he is talking about...I know what he means when he says she “stopped by.” Cheating isn’t out of his character. We both are very aware that I know it happens, but nevertheless, it splits me into two. And why Kingston’s ex? What is she doing sleeping with Joel when she clearly stills wants Kings?
Joel: Don’t play stupid, baby. You know the score.
Me: Yeah, I do. I’ll see you when you get home.
I flip my phone over and make work at the tears stemming from my eyes. I can’t believe he still has the power to hurt me, say things so small but have the impact of a semi-truck straight into my heart. I loved Joel once, he once was good to me—great to me, but sometimes people are wolves in sheep’s clothing. My phone vibrates and I flip it in habit, scared to do anything other than reply.
Joel: Bye, clean up a bit.
M
e: Okay.
“Babe, what are you doing here? Shit, Lana, what’s wrong?” Kingston appears. Scooting into the booth across from me, he places his tattooed hands over mine.
“Do I even have to say? He’s being so mean to me. By the way he slept with Hilary, heads up.” I sniff on a lifeless, not surprised at all chuckle. Looking up I expect to see him red with jealousy, seeing as he had her first and Kingston is a jealous man, he doesn’t like when others take what is or was once his. But when I look up he shows nothing but concern.
“Lana, I’m sorry, god I fucking hate that dick. What did he say?”
I shake my head, a fresh wave of tears coming on. “I’m disgusting, I’m fat. I know this, but I’m trying to lose weight,” I ramble on, using the back of my hands to wipe the fast-moving tears that I can’t keep up with.
“Lana, baby stop, hey...look at me.” Reaching for my hands he stops them abruptly gaining my attention. Looking up, his green eyes search my face, his brows drawn in distraught. “We’re gonna talk about this right after work. I only have three tables left then I’m done, okay?” I nod my head and he leans in closer. “And you are fucking beautiful, baby.” He doesn’t linger or give me a second to debate what he says, he leaves the booth with a stern glare on his face and moves to the table a few spots down.
I calm myself, closing and opening my eyes over and over again, draining the last tears I can from my swollen eyes. My labored breathing goes back to normal and I hear Kingston and see Trey coming out with a saddle.
“Attention roadhouse guests! We got ourselves a birthday over here for Paul. Why don’t we give him a loud and proud YeeHaw!” I smile at Kingston, a snorted chuckle leaves me and my heart feels lighter as he grabs the cowboy hat and places it on the birthday boy. Him and Trey yell YeeHaw and then the sound of Garth Brooks, “I Got Friends” starts up.
The restaurant goers all start laughing and smiling, while Trey and Kingston start singing, grabbing the cowboy hats and placing them on their heads. This is a roadhouse tradition and the people always love it most when Trey and Kings are the ones doing it.
Kingston looks over at me winking. “Think I’ll slip on down to the OASIS! Oh I got friends, in low places!” The beat picks up more, the crescendo building as he starts walking over to me, singing. Everyone catches on to what he’s doing and Trey starts the clap. Joining in, everyone claps along as he sings toward me, moving to me until he’s on his knees and singing loud.
I blush, completely emotionally drained. I laugh hysterically, covering my mouth, my swollen eyes heavy with new tears. But, the good kind, the ones you need to heal you after you break.
The crowd joins in on the last chorus, making my stomach tie in a knot. When I look down at my best friend he’s on his knee, holding my free hand and singing his heart out. His handsome features make my tummy do the funny dance, his carefree attitude making me feel a tad lighter. The best part, though, is his willingness to make all things in my world feel right again.
The song ends and everyone cheers and hollers and just when I think he is going to stand and get back to work, he does something else. Leaning in he grabs my chin between his thumb and finger then descends his full lips on mine, taking me in a kiss. My heart rate spikes, my reaction to push him away nonexistent. He tastes good, like mint and Kingston, the perfect concoction to make me forget about anything but him and me and our lips touching. It’s nothing rushed, it’s sweet and understated, the way first kisses should be.
What feels like eternities passing is really only a few short desperate seconds of me clinging to the antidote to my disease, the answers to my prayers, the savior to rescue me from my hellish captivity. Pulling away, the background fades to a blur, the sound of others cheering and going back to their conversations going deaf around us. Our eyes lock and I bite my lip, still feeling his there. I have never had his lips on mine, but the way they laid on mine so perfectly, so beautifully, keeps me from wanting anything else ever again.
He licks his lip, then uses his thump to lightly tug my chin down so my lip will release from my teeth. “Don’t hurt those lips, they’re mine now and tonight I’m going to save you. I’m going to show you real love, Lana James.” I gulp and my lip quivers. I’m sinning so bad, but I want nothing more than to go to confession for this man.
My best friend is the one I want, I always have and more than anything I want to run away with him, alone, no one else, and never come back. “I’m yours. Forever.” The words fall from my lips without a second regret. I want to leave Joel, I need to leave him.
He nods at me and then leaves me to get back to work. For the last ten minutes of his shift, I watch his body, dressed in all black, the tight work shirt he wears stretches over his back and taut chest perfectly, his tattoos showing intricately against his tan skin. I can’t take my eyes off him while I fantasize about that kiss.
When he leaves to go clock out and say goodbye to everyone, I’m now without his physical presence and the guilt seeps its way in. I kissed another man, I cheated, I’m a whore like Joel always says. How could I be so stupid? What if he finds out? I ask this ten million times before Kingston gets to me.
“Ready? Give Trey your keys, he will drive your car home since he came with me and you’ll come to my place with me.
“Okay,” I whisper, handing my keys to Trey and climbing out of the booth.
“Thanks Trey,” I tell Trey, turning to hug him as we approach Kingston’s car.
