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“But only later. You read the file, knew the case, but you never met Lucy. She was already gone by the time you came on the case. You didn’t see how each day she blamed herself more and more. At some point, it was going to drive her to suicide. No matter how much counseling she received, it would have happened someday. I arranged her new life, but that didn’t alleviate her guilt. Then something miraculous happened. You found Clark, and you brought him to justice. You were her hero. You took down her boogeyman. She wanted to know everything about you. I told her what I could.
“That was the first time that I saw real recovery in her eyes. Genuine peace. And then that bitch somehow helped Clark escape, and he killed Meg.”
“She took a downward spiral?”
Kate smiled, remembering. “Not so much downward as sideways. She got pissed. And as we both know, getting pissed is a good motivator.”
“She felt like she owed me.”
“Absolutely.”
“She told me she had the chance to kill him and didn’t. Can’t believe she blames herself for that.”
“She’s gotten better at putting the blame where it belongs, but when this opportunity to help you came along, she was the one I went to with it.”
“And you didn’t tell me because…?”
“One reason is because it’s her story to tell, not mine.”
“All right, but why didn’t you at least let me in on the Jessie Diamond angle?”
“Ash, if I had told you that Turner was putting out feelers for someone to infiltrate OZ, what would you have done?”
She saw the knowledge in his eyes before he said the words. “I would have confronted her.”
“For years, you have followed Turner around, basically stalking her, daring her to do something. If you’d found out she was not only targeting you, but also your team, nothing would have stopped you from going after her full force. I thought this was the best way to keep her in line until we got what we needed.”
“And keep me out of prison.”
“Prison or worse.” Kate shook her head. “I saw what you did to Clark. The man deserved every broken bone and laceration he received, but going after a US senator with that same kind of mercilessness wasn’t going to fly.”
“I’d like to think I would have been a bit more subtle than that.”
“Normally, yes, you are, but not when it comes to those you care about. The people of OZ are your family. I couldn’t take the chance that you’d go after her. We were too close to getting what we needed.” She shrugged. “I’m sorry it got so screwed up. And I’m very sorry you and Jules got hurt.”
Before he could respond to that, she added, “If it makes you feel any better, it was never my intent that Jules should work for you. She was supposed to tail you and feed Turner basically junk that we manufactured to keep her satisfied.”
For the first time, she saw the beginnings of a smile in his eyes. “Jules told me she has a problem with following orders.”
“She told the truth there.” Kate sighed. “And I certainly never anticipated there would be an attraction between you two.”
“So you don’t think that was a ploy, too?”
“That would be a one-thousand-percent hell no.”
Ash shoved his fingers through his already shaggy hair, making Kate want to smile. The first day she’d met him, she’d advised him he didn’t look like an FBI agent. Instead of being insulted, he’d thanked her for her kind words. She’d sputtered out a surprised laugh, and they’d been friends ever since.
“You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”
“I don’t know what I am anymore. I don’t know who she is.”
“Yes, you do. There may be secrets between you, but not in that. Don’t lose the best thing to have happened to you in years by letting your pride get in the way.”
Ash nodded and then checked his watch. “We’d better go. Lawrence is expecting us in half an hour.”
“So are we okay, here?”
“Yeah, I’m still pissed, but we’re okay.”
