“Like what?” I asked. “What could he be hiding?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I just get the feeling that there’s more to him than what he’s showing you.”
My chest ached.
“He told me why he went to prison,” I said slowly. “But he’s not that man anymore. His past is his past.”
“Who are you trying to convince? Me or you?” She leaned forward and took my hand. “Listen, I’m gonna say one thing and then I’m gonna drop it and let you handle shit yourself. He might be the one you’ve chosen to be with, but he’s theonlyone you’ve been with. Men lie. Men evade. Men will say anything to get you into bed. And then it all . . . falls apart.”
I took a deep breath and squeezed her hand. “Wyn?”
“Yeah, Poet?”
“That’s your stuff,” I said gently. “That’s not mine.”
I released her fingers.
She didn’t say anything, but her jaw clamped shut.
“You don’t like me calling you on your crap, do you?” I asked.
Wyn looked away from me. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I know,” I said. “But at some point, you have to decide love is worth the risk. And hopefully one day you’ll find someone worth throwing caution to the wind and taking a risk.”
“I won’t,” she said flatly. “It’ll never work for me. So, I’m taking myself off the table. Out of the running.”
Tears gathered in my eyes as I realized what she wasn’t willing to say out loud.
The men she’d dated hadn’t just disappointed her. They’d proven they were only after one thing, and once they had it, they left. They discarded. They swiped on someone else.
“Their shortcomings are not your fault,” I said.
“Maybe not,” she agreed. “But I keep choosing them. I keep falling for them and their lies. Well, no more, Poet. Ican’t do it anymore. I’d rather be alone than used again. I’ve got nothing left.”
I set my mug of tea aside and then took her cup from her and did the same. And then I enveloped my oldest friend in a tight embrace.
I’d thought there was something wrong with me—a virgin at twenty-three—because society told me there was something broken inside me. But I wasn’t broken. I was a lock with only one right key.
“You know the worst thing about being hopeful?” Wyn said, her words muffled against my shoulder. “I keep thinking the next one will be different. But they’re all the same.”
“Maybe you’re doing it wrong,” I said.
“Doing what wrong? Sex?”
I chuckled. “No. I meant, how you choose the men to be with. Maybe you should lead with your heart instead of your body. You might have a different experience.”
She pulled back and looked at me, her eyes shining bright with resolve. Finally, she nodded. “You’re right. If I want something to change, then it has to start with me. From now on, a man can only get into my pants if he gets into my heart first.”
“I think that’s a stellar idea.” I smiled. “Because you’re so wonderful, Wyn. And you deserve someone who’s head over heels for you.”
“If he’s not obsessed, I don’t want him,” she vowed.
“That’s the spirit.”
She grinned. “Speaking of obsessed. Brooks is obsessed with you.”
“Yeah. I know.” I sighed. “You know what’s weird? I thought it might be smothering. But with him, I don’t feel that way at all. That’s how I know he’s the right one for me.”
