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“Promise,” she said solemnly. “But I get to pick the drive-thru for tomorrow’s lunch. Or I’ll call up your sister and tell her—”
“Deal,” he said quickly. He held her gaze as he reclaimed his glass and took a long sip. “Now how about you? Did you sit around at the base and watch TV?”
“No.” She shook her head and looked away, staring out at the sand. “My sister is a reality show junkie. She had it on all day. From pregnant teenagers to people willing to eat bugs for money, she liked it all.”
“I’ve never seen the appeal of eating bugs on national television,” he murmured.
“Me neither,” she said with a laugh. But it sounded forced, even to her ears.
Why can’t I have a normal conversation with this man? she wondered. But given her situation, maybe this was normal—the best she could hope for anyway.
“But your sister liked those shows,” he prompted.
“Yeah,” she said, mentally tossing normal out into the surf as she added: “And when I was staying with her, I couldn’t leave the house. I knew it was only a matter of time before the police came to her door and demanded to know if she’d seen me. So I stayed inside and watched with her. I waited for the inevitable . . .”
But it doesn’t feel so inevitable right now.
She closed her eyes. Witnessing the sunset, following the water’s ebb and flow, and sitting beside a man that infused her life with wanting, she’d felt as if possibility hung in the air—as if her new version of normal was within arm’s reach. She’d set out to face her past. To see for herself if Dustin was interested in hunting her down. If he wanted to seek revenge for a career he’d lost most than a year ago.
Damn it, I wish I could take out my past with a single shot. One well-aimed bullet and the reasons I ran, even the fact that I decided to go AWOL instead of serving with those bastards again—I could blow it all away.
“Look at me, Caroline,” he said softly. “Please.”
She opened her eyes. Her date looked downright serious. And yes, that was on her. Josh laughed openly and freely. He seemed happy just about all the time. Except for when she started unpacking the baggage from her past.
“Even at my lowest point,” he said, “when depression clouded my life and I thought my short-term memory was gone, I didn’t stop hoping. And that I remember clear as day. You haven’t hit a dead end. Trust me on this. I know you. Not who you were before or all the details about your family. But I know that if someone as strong and brave as you gives up, the rest of us don’t stand a chance.”
“I don’t know what to wish for anymore.” She rolled her shoulders up toward her ears and then down. “Every time I think about the future, this tension seeps in. I feel it lodge between my shoulder blades like a physical reminder that I’m tethered to my past actions.”
Josh rubbed his hands together. “Now, this is going to sound like a come-on designed to advance tonight into the tried and true third date parameters. You’ll just have to take me at my word that my motives are sixty percent pure.”
“Only sixty?” she said with a laugh.
“Yeah. Now, here it goes.” He cleared his throat. “Sweetheart, I can ease that tension right here, right now with a little back massage,” he said in a deep voice that sounded like a cross between used car salesman and Magic Mike.
She laughed again. And he waggled his red-gold brows.
“What about the other forty?” she asked.
“Sinful.” He shook his head as if ashamed to admit part of him leaned toward ulterior motives. “But I think I can keep those impulses in line long enough to relieve that ache in your back, honey.”
“All right.” She plucked a cushion off one of the empty chairs as she stood. As she walked around the table, he pushed back and created a space for her at his feet. She dropped the pillow to the wooden boards and sat with her back to him and her gaze fixed on the horizon.
His hands rested on her shoulders. The wide neckline of her knit sweater offered access to her bare skin and he took advantage. His fingers slipped beneath the fabric and his thumbs ran down alongside her spine. Then, without a word of warning, he began to massage her tight and tired shoulders.
The pure pleasure of welcoming another’s touch rippled through her. And thank you, angels in heaven, he didn’t break the moment by asking if she was all right, or if he made her uncomfortable. Josh trusted her to speak up and tell him if she needed him to stop. But still, it probably wouldn’t hurt to add a little encouragement.
“Please don’t stop,” she murmured.
“Wasn’t planning on it,” he said.
He used his knuckles to target the pockets of pure tightness underneath her shoulder blades and she moaned.
“I’d forgotten how good this feels.” She didn’t give a damn if her voice bordered on low and throaty. The pleasure had clearly migrated south, drawing her attention to the parts of her body that no longer wished to be ignored.
“Keep reminding me,” he said. “Or my imagination might talk my hands into wandering.”
“Where?” she teased.
