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She crossed her arms in front of her chest. Hero moved closer, keeping his canine eyes focused on her ex. “What are you doing here, Malcolm?”
“This came for you.” He stepped forward, holding out a large manila envelope. “You’re being awarded a Silver Star.”
“What?” Shocked, she took the envelope. “For what?”
“I didn’t read it. A woman from the army called the house and told me. She said the vice-president is coming to an Oregon base next month to present the medal to you. Just you. When this came, well, I thought you would want it so I drove down, asked around town, and found you.”
“Thank you.” She stared down at the sealed envelope. A Silver Star. The army’s third highest honor, and rarely given to a woman. Why had they picked her? The memory descended swift and fierce.
Gunfire. Men, and some women, but mostly men screaming. The noise was deafening. She’d raced to the front lines carrying important information before, but she’d never seen anything like this. These soldiers were dying. Unless someone carried them to safety. . .
“Lena, someone is coming this way.” She could tell from his gentle tone that Malcolm was trying to warn her. “From the house,” he added.
She glanced over her shoulder and spotted Chad, striding toward them. He moved with purpose, but his expression remained calm and easygoing.
“Hey Lena,” he said, stopping at her side, offering her a smile. “Heard you hiked up to the falls today. Nice right?”
“Beautiful,” she murmured, her mind shifting to the present, the peace and quiet of Independence Falls, and the reassuring tone of Chad’s voice.
“That’s one of my favorite places,” Chad said. “Now how about introducing me to your friend?”
Her hand went to Hero’s fur as she made the introductions, her gaze moving back and forth between her ex and the man she’d threatened to shoot for climbing into b
ed with her last night.
“I drove down to give Lena her mail,” Malcolm explained. “But I should probably hit the road. I need to get back to Portland and set up for poker. Remember our weekly games, Lena? With the crew?”
“I remember,” she said. It had been years since she’d played, but she recalled the people who’d been her friends when she first moved to Portland, before she deployed—before her marriage dissolved.
Malcolm moved toward her and she stiffened. Hero stepped forward, ready and willing to create space for her. But her hand reached out and took hold of Chad.
And then she could breathe again. She hadn’t realized she’d been holding her breath until the anxiety slipped away. Chad didn’t move a muscle. He simply let her hold his hand as if it were a normal, everyday thing, and not a miracle in her war-torn world.
Malcolm’s gaze dropped to their joined hands. And he knew. She could see it in his eyes. Her ex knew that the man standing beside her had touched her, held her, maybe more. There was a question mark there too, shining in his familiar face. If this man she’d known for a matter of hours could hold her hand, why did she shy away from the one who’d been her lover, who’d done his best to support her in those first few months home?
Because she’d been too broken, too different—and Malcolm’s best hadn’t been enough.
“Lena?”
Dropping Chad’s hand, she gave her head a quick shake. She didn’t have an answer to his unspoken question.
“OK,” Malcolm said, stepping back. “OK, Lena. I’ll head out now. But please think about it. It’s a Silver Star, given by the vice president. After all you’ve been through, I think you should go to the ceremony and let them honor you. You earned this.”
She nodded. “I’ll think about it.”
“And Lena.” Her ex hesitated, glancing at the ground. She waited for him to say the words: Come home. Now that he had evidence that she’d pushed past the barrier that had driven them apart. Now that she could allow someone to share her space and touch her hand.
But I still can’t let you in, she thought. They’d suffered together, trying to find a way through her mounting fears in those first months. But in the end, they’d had nothing left but frustration when she’d failed to meet the timeline in Malcolm’s mind for her recovery.
“Your father called and left a message at the house. He’s going to the ceremony with your brother and mother.” Malcolm looked up at her. “Do me a favor and call them. Give them your new number when you get one, and your address. They’re worried about you too.”
“I will.”
Malcolm turned and headed to his car. He paused by the door. “Bye, Lena. Take care of yourself.”
“Good-bye.”
Her mind pushed her ex-husband into the past, focusing on her present. Chad Summers. She owed him an explanation, one she didn’t feel like giving. Slowly, she turned to him, noting the amused twinkle in his brown eyes.
