Damn.
It was already bad enough that my jewels had doomed me to a life of knighthood, let alone the fact that I wasn't even blessed by Thea. Her sapphire was accompanied by the power of water manipulation, which was quite fitting for my character.Though Caius gave those gifted by him the power to manipulate snow and ice, which I supposed wasn't too far off.
I abandoned my reflection, resuming my journey to my bed and crawling in the sheets next to my sister. I soaked in the coziness of my own mattress, knowing that this moment would be the last of its kind for the years to come.
Lying flat on my back, I made myself comfortable and rested my hands on my stomach. I blew out a shuddered breath, my hands falling with my chest. The emptiness of the ceiling was greatly appreciated as I spent nearly an hour contemplating how I would say goodbye to my family before I left. What did you tell the most important people in your life, when you knew there was a possibility that those words would be the last you ever said to them? There was no question that training to become a soldier was brutal, and if I were to die?—
There was no use in dwelling on maybes. I knew that, but I couldn't stop the thoughts as they possessed my brain.
Delani began to stir, but she still didn't wake. She rolled to her other side, then burrowed herself deeper into the sheets. She looked so peaceful, but she had no idea that she was about to be crushed.
I closed my eyes to stop them from watering. Saying that I would miss her hardly described it.
My sister. My best friend. After today, I wouldn't see her until the Jewel-Light Festival next year. And even then, I wouldn't be able to spend any time with her. I would be on duty, stuffed into a tight leather uniform in the dead heat of summer.
A single tear dribbled free from my eye. I hastily wiped it away as the familiar scent of vanilla and lavender filled my nostrils. I recognized my mother’s perfume and turned my head to see her standing in my doorway.
She could see my cheek from where she stood—the look on her face made that much obvious.Her dark eyes sunk, but she flicked the corner of her lips up, trying to reassure me with her poor excuse of a smile.
I shuffled over as much as I could without waking Delani. The mattress was much too small for three people, but we found the room.
My mother rubbed her fingers through my hair as she had done ever since I was a child. The cloth of her shirt felt soft where my head rested on her. In the comfort of my mother’s arms, I allowed all of my sadness to rush in.
I tried to speak—tried to explain, but choked on the words.
“Shh, my star. It’s okay. I know,” she assured me, the silkiness of her tone calming me.
Another tear slipped free. Then another. I gave up trying to stop them, letting the despair rain down my face. “I don’t know what to do,” I sniffled. “I don't know how to feel.”
She kissed my forehead, her nails getting caught in the strands of my hair that she twirled between her fingers. “Feel it all,” she said. “Feel sorrow that this journey was not in your plans, but feel excited that a new journey awaits you. Feel scared that you do not know what is to come, but feel blessed that the gods deemed you worthy. You were gifted for a reason—find it, use it.” She kissed the top of my head again then repeated herself, “Feel it all.”
I nodded into her, then wiped my nose with the back of my hand.
Our voices, though hushed, still woke Delani. Her eyes fluttered open and I angled my neck towards her. She took a few seconds to process being awake, but then her mouth dropped open.
“You were gifted?”
I nodded, and her expression turned serious.
“Why are they on your face? And why is there more than one?”
I shrugged, having no answers regarding either of those questions.
There were some exceptions to the location of one's jewel, but I had never heard of a jewel presenting on someone's face. Clearly, it was not impossible. The more confusing aspect of all of this was why I hadthree.
“At least one of those was meant for me. I'm sure of it,” Delani joked, making light of the situation.
I forced a laugh.
Her eyes started to water and her smile drooped as the reality of the situation splintered her. “Dammit,” she choked, pulling me into a sideways hug. “I’m going to miss you.”
By mid-afternoon,I was back at the castle. Most of my morning was spent debating if I had diamonds or sapphires. I was still convinced that Caius was the one who gifted me, but Delani believed otherwise. Either way, we would know soon enough—the king's advisor was an expert on gemstone strains.
The more I thought about it, the less I cared what my jewels were, anyway. I didn't even want them.
I hadn't spoken a word since we arrived here, having already said my goodbyes back at home while packing whatever I could stuff into my rucksack. Looking back, I shouldn't have bothered. The bag was taken by a soldier the moment I stepped onto the castle grounds. The soldier went through everything I had packed, leaving me with hardly anything by the time he finished.
It was a good thing I left my journal at home. That would have made for an awkward encounter had he chosen to read it. I wanted to bring it, but figured I would be able to get my hands on some parchment here.
