I rolled my shoulders back and he removed his head from my neck to stand upright. When we were face to face once more, I analyzed his expression.
His eyes were full of want, but mine were full of need. And I couldn't tell if he wanted to be with me, or justwantedme. That information alone made it evident that we weren't on the same page—we couldn't have been. And the thought shattered me.
Despair settled in my bones. I needed to get out of here. Needed some air. This was getting to be too much.
I pulled away from him abruptly, pushing off of his chest with my palms. “Excuse me,” I choked on my words and backed away.
Uncertainty clouded Sebastian’s features as I spun on my heel and left him alone on the dance floor.
Chapter
Twenty-Five
“Maeve!” Sebastian called after me.
I hurried out of the great hall, holding up the sides of my gown to avoid tripping. Ignoring his voice, I moved as fast as possible in heels, needing to get away from him. I couldn't handle another moment of wanting him without actually having him. Not tonight at least.
When confident I had left him behind, I stopped in a corridor far away from the shining lights and loud music. I swallowed a few deep breaths, blowing them out shakily as I slouched against the stone wall. I clasped my hand over my star pendant and looked up towards the heavens, shaking my head to the gods. I couldn't keep doing this. Even if it broke me, I needed to know what he felt.
“Maeve?”
My gaze dropped towards Sebastian, his eyebrows drawn together as he approached me.
“What's going on?” He crouched in front of me, reaching a veiny hand out to stroke my arm.
My instincts told me to pull away, but I couldn't bring myself to follow through. Fiddling with my necklace, I avoidedhis eyes. “I just…I just need you to—” My voice quaked, struggling to find the words to explain.
“Did I say something?”
I shook my head. I could keep telling myself that it wasn't the right time, but would the time truly ever be right?
“Then what?—”
Rising on my feet, I threw my arms in the air and spun my back to him. My hands pressed against the wall and I dropped my neck to my chest, my body shuddering to expel the pent up emotions that had accumulated within me.
“Talk to me.”
Fuck it.
“I don't know what you want,” I said at last, punctuating each word and turning back to him. “You almost kissed me, not once but twice. Then a week later it's like nothing even happened. Then tonight you're making suggestive comments and touching me. But as soon as Sawyer waves his hand, you leave my side like you didn't just haveyour handin my dress.”
His jaw ticked, but he didn't speak.
“I know what I want, Seb. But I have no idea what the hellyouwant.” I pointed a finger at his chest, then stopped myself from saying more.
My breathing was heavy with the release of desire that had been brewing inside of me. A sense of calm flooded me for a brief moment before replacing itself with nausea from the anticipation of what he was going to say.
Sebastian closed the gap between us, staring at me deeply. Eagerly. “You really have no ideas about what I want?”
“No. I don't. Every time I think that I do, something happens that makes me think otherwise.”
His head dropped, lowering his eyes so they were level with mine. “I want you,” he stated, leaving no room in his tone for me to misunderstand.
I was sure that my heart stopped beating.
“I want you so bad that I can't think about anythingelse when you're near. You walk into the room, and I have to force my eyes to focus on anything but you.” He brushed the hair off of my shoulders, then skimmed his lips over my neck. “I can't breathe when you look at me the way that you are right now.”
I couldn't breathe either. My body trembled as his touch slid over my flesh.
