“Oh, you’re ready to talk now?” I said satirically.
He glared at me, his full lips knitting together.
“I’m sorry,” I huffed, giving in to his honesty, “me either. I should know better than to ask personal questions to someone who only spends time with me because they're forced to.” Sadness coated my voice as the words left my tongue, reminding me how I was nothing more than an assignment to him.
He grimaced and stepped closer to me, not leaving much space between our bodies. The blood in my veins burned in response to the close proximity of his body to mine.
“That's not true. I didn’t mean what I said that night. Sometimes I just get agitated, and I don’t know why. I overreacted. I just…don’t know,” he stuttered through his words.
He may not have been able to put into words how he felt, but I knew what he meant—it was a feeling I knew all too well. “You don’t have to explain.”
“I should explain, though. I?—”
“I understand. Really,” I assured him.
He clenched his jaw, but his body seemed to relax a bit, as if the strain between us had been bothering him as well.
My lungs held onto air as I tried to speak. “So…are we good?”
He nodded slowly, chewing the corner of his bottom lip.
Then, time seemed to stop. Sebastian looked at me as if he was trying to memorize every detail of my skin. Icy eyes met mine, sorrow and desire muddled into them. His heated staremade my body tremble, and I had to clench my fists to stop myself from losing my composure. His lips parted ever so slightly, as if he was going to tell me a secret.
He would destroy me if he kept looking at me like that.
I took a step back, putting space between us to avoid doing something I’d regret—like throwing my arms around him and slamming my lips against his.
“Okay, so I guess I'll see you later on?” The words came out too casually, but casual was the only tone of voice that wouldn't give away the array of emotions swirling in my brain.
“Yeah.” He stepped back as well, and I gave him a quick glance before turning my back on him.
“You're going straight to your room?”
I nodded, not looking back.
“No stops at the beach?”
A smile tugged at my lips. “Not today. Too cold.”
“Are you sure you don't want me to walk you back?”
“Will you get scolded if you don’t?”
“Not if you don't get caught.” He stepped to my side, opening and holding the door for me.
“I won’t. I’m quite sneaky when I need to be.” I flashed him a wink over my shoulder. “See you later.” As I started out the door, his hand caught my wrist and pulled my gaze back to him.
“I really am sorry,” he said softly, his words simple but heartfelt.
My skin quivered from his touch, and all though he noticed, he did not acknowledge the reaction.
“Me, too.” I granted him a gentle smile. When his grip went slack, I made my way down the stairs, taking in what the hell just happened.
I'd never had my body react to someone in the way that it just did. I couldn't deny that there was something about Sebastian that made me want to lose all sense of control. I'dknown him for two months—most of which had been spent fighting with or ignoring him. But the way I was drawn to him made it feel like I’d known him for years.
I chewed on my lower lip. I didn't want to admit it to myself, but there was no hiding the feelings that arose when he was near me. But he and I would never work. Like Pia said earlier—relationships between soldiers and students were frowned upon. The king would never allow it, and I doubted Sebastian would ever want it, anyway.
This is just a stupid crush because you saw his abs.
