“He's pretty numb to it now, but sometimes even now when Seb has to kill in the line of duty, the trauma of doing it as a kid rehashes. He just…shuts down. Sometimes it takes days for him to come out of it. Battle is one thing, that's life or death. But the executions are always brutal to watch, never mind performing one.”
Anger boiled up inside of me, and I clenched my fists under the table. “Who makes their child kill people? That's fucking horrific to say the very least.” King Hawthorne just kept giving me more and more reasons to despise him.
“He's done worse,” Sawyer replied nonchalantly.
My appetite vanished. “What do you mean?”
Sawyer shook his head. “Nowthatis really not my information to share.”
A grimace found my face, but I respected the boundary. “So what do we do?”
“About Seb?” Sawyer shrugged. “Nothing we can do. Kohen and I have tried to snap him out of it in the past, but it's nearly impossible to get through to him when he's like this. Just have to wait it out.”
I didn't like that answer. No wonder Sebastian could be so temperamental. I would be, too, if I was consistently traumatized while growing up. Between watching his mother be killed, and then being forced to do it to others—the whole thing made me feel nauseous.
I’ve done things that would make you sick,he had said, and I guess he was right. But none of those things were his fault. He didn't choose his father.
I scrapped the rest of my meal and rose from the table, my one-track mind marching me through the archway that would take me where I needed to go.
Sawyer jumped up in front of me. “Where do you think you are going?”
“I'm not just going to let him wallow in misery for days,” I said, pushing past him.
Sawyer moved in front of the entryway, blocking me from going through it. “Bad idea, Willawood,” he cautioned.
I ignored his warning and squeezed by him, entering into the dimmed hallway and only stopping when I stood in front of Sebastian's door. Sucking in a deep breath, I prepared myself for whatever reaction I might receive when he opened the door.
The corridor was so silent this morning that I was actually able to make out Sebastian's disgruntled response when I knocked.
“Go away, Kohen,” he grunted.
I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that Kohen has already tried to talk to him.
I knocked again, even harder.
No response.
Unsure if it would even work, I contemplated using my magic on him through the door to make him open it, but he without a doubt had his shields up right now. I didn't want to aggravate him more, but I risked doing so by knocking one more time.
“For fuck’s sake, Kohen. I told you to leave me alone.” The door swung open, and Sebastian's jaw snapped shut when he saw me.
I had almost forgotten how breathtaking he was. Even now, his face twisted into an expression of distress.
His hand tightly grasped the door frame. His dark hair was a mess of curls and his eyes that normally gleamed were full of dismay. He wore gray lounge pants—that was it.
I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I’d missed him the whole time he was gone.
“Sorry. I?—”
“Can I come in?” I interrupted his apology.
He bobbed his head and the muscles of his back flexed as he turned and walked back into his room. I followed him in and closed the door behind us. The curtains were drawn, the only light emitted being from a single-bulb lamp on his desk. His bed was disheveled, a few open books lying on the sheets.
“I didn't know you were back,” I stated.
Sebastian pulled his desk chair out, sitting down and avoiding eye contact with me by burying his face in his hands. “I got back late last night,” he said, his voice muffled by his palms.
“I saw Sawyer at breakfast.”
