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She felt his body relax. And then slowly, gently, he rolled off of her.
“So I guess this means you never want me to shut up?” He turned on his side and supported his head with his hand, his elbow pushing into the mattress. “Stupid pick-up lines, bedtime stories—you want me to keep talking?”
“Yes, Jack. I want you to talk to me. And I promise to listen. Just make sure you’re picking me up with your lines.”
“I will.” He placed his hand on her heart. “Because I started falling in love with you the moment I walked into your bar. I’ve been falling ever since. I love you, Natalie. I love that you hear me, that you understand how the past messed me up.”
“It did a number on me too,” she murmured.
“And those fears don’t just walk out of your life because you want them to,” he said. “But even when you’re scared, even when all the shit you’ve lived through comes back to haunt you, I’m still going to love you.”
“Jack,” she murmured, covering his hand with hers.
When was the last time someone had walked into her life and looked past her failings? Her foster families had handed her off, making her someone else’s problem. Her best friend, and until recently, even Lucia, had given her the space she demanded. But not Jack. He’d grabbed a rope and tried to climb her walls and peek over the edge. He wanted to see her fears—to see her.
And yes, that had terrified her at first and sent her running, unable to trust in him. But no one outside of her family—and Cade—had offered to love her just as she was. Just the opposite. They’d turned her away. And even those closest to her, including her sister and her best friend, had loved her from a distance. But Jack was right here, his hand on her heart, his naked body lying beside her, loving her, understanding her.
It was almost too much. His love was like this great big gift. What could she possibly offer him in return? Her heart? It didn’t feel like enough for the man who’d given her a second chance, allowing her to work through her fears.
“I think it’s time for the black silk ties,” she said. His fantasy, his desires—she could give him that.
He shook his head. “Not tonight. We’ll get there. Don’t get me wrong. I love the fact that you went out and bought those. I look forward to using your present. But there’s no rush. I’ll settle for reverse cowgirl and maybe one of your special blow jobs.”
She stared up at him as relief rushed through her. He’d accepted her gift for exactly what it was—a sign that she wanted to carry their fantasy world forward into the future, into a relationship, and into reality. But he wasn’t pushing her. There was always tomorrow and the day after that.
She slid off the bed, walked over to the armchair, and picked up the lengths of black silk. Then she turned and headed for the man she’d fallen in love with. He’d sat up. His long legs were stretched out in front of him on the bed. His palms pressed into the sheets, supporting his upper body as he leaned back, the pose putting his muscles on display.
She stopped at the edge of the bed and tossed her present onto his lap. “I don’t want to wait. You’re deploying soon. This could be our last chance to make your fantasy come true.”
“Natalie, the silk ties aren’t the fantasy.” He picked them up and set the ties aside as he moved to the edge of the bed. He sat with his feet planted on the floor. He reached forward and grabbed ahold of her hands. “You are.”
“Jack, from the beginning you’ve talked about tying me up.”
“Because I wanted to turn you on. Because I wanted you,” he said firmly. “Natalie, you’re the fantasy. I’m not here, asking for a chance to be a part of your life, to love you and be loved in return because I’m looking for kinky sex. If that is what you want, and you trust me enough to enjoy it, then hell yeah, I’m in. But if you just want to hear that story over and over while those ties gather dust bunnies under the bed, that works for me, too.”
She pulled his hands and stepped back. He stood and allowed her to press her body up against his. Closing her eyes, still holding his hands, she rested her he
ad against his chest.
“What if you don’t come back?” she whispered. “What if your fantasy collects dust bunnies because you never returned to claim it?”
He released her hands and his arms banded around her. She felt one hand running down her back, a gentle, reassuring caress. She wanted to believe in him, in their future.
“You can be scared,” he said. “But I don’t think that’s how our story ends, Natalie. I’m not leaving behind the woman I love without a fight. And you know, I’m looking forward to the day when you say, ‘Tie me up in the back room of the bar, Jack.’ That’s a pretty damn good incentive to stay alive.”
Even the best training wouldn’t guarantee protection against an IED. And she knew the bad guys carried powerful weapons. What if he was sent into an ISIS stronghold to rescue a hostage?
She lived with these fears every time Cade deployed. But thinking about Jack out there? Not knowing if he’d have a tomorrow?
Except he lived with that same fear but faced it every time he went on a mission. She’d honor him, then, and lift him up with her love. Let him fight for what mattered and know that he had the strength of her love waiting for him back home.
“I dare you to come back.” She wrapped her arms around him, holding tight to her charming SEAL. “Because one day, I’m going to dare you to use those black silk ties. And so much more, Jack. So much more.”
Epilogue
Iraq, Three Months Later
Dear Natalie,
