Seth picked up the gun.
It was lighter than he expected. Warm from Levi's hand. The rain ran over the chrome and made it gleam.
Levi looked up at him. Blood on his teeth. Fear in his eyes, real fear, for the first time.
"Seth. Come on, man. We're friends."
"We were never friends. We were two people drowning in the same water."
"Please. "
"You'll come back."
"I won't, I swear. "
"You will. Because you can't help it. Because the drugs won't let you. And next time, you'll bring Mercer's people, and they'll kill everyone in that safehouse." Seth's hand was shaking. His voice was not. "I'm not going to let that happen."
"Seth. "
He pulled the trigger.
The sound was enormous. Louder than he'd expected, louder than the movies, a crack that split the wet air and echoed off the buildings. Levi's body jerked. Went still.
Blood pooled in the rain.
Seth stood over the body of the first person he'd ever killed and waited for the horror. The guilt. The crushing weight of what he'd done.
What came instead was silence. A vast, numb nothing, like a door closing inside him. The gun hung heavy in his hand. The rain fell on his face. Somewhere a car alarm went off, triggered by the shot, and was silenced.
"Seth."
Zain was in front of him. Hands on his shoulders. Blood on his own knuckles from the fight.
"Seth. Look at me."
He looked.
"Give me the gun."
He gave him the gun.
Zain set it aside. Cupped Seth's face in his hands, warm, steady, the only solid thing in a world that had gone liquid and strange.
"You did what you had to do," Zain said.
"I know."
"It's going to hit you later."
"I know that too."
"And when it does, I'll be here."
Seth nodded. He couldn't feel his hands. Couldn't feel much of anything.
Then Zain pulled him in, and Seth's face was against his chest, and the warmth of another body was the only thing anchoring him to the earth. He didn't cry. Didn't shake. Just stood in the rain and breathed and let Zain hold the weight of him.
"We need to move," Zain said quietly. "Jack's incoming for cleanup."
