CHAPTER ONE
ALINA
It is curious how much of who we are depends on things beyond our control – the decisions we make, the people we trust, and the ones we let into our lives. We are often told that we should strive for full control over our lives, but is that even possible?Can we really control other people, or events that may or may not unfold?If everything we do, everything we can do, is shaped by our circumstances, our history, and our connections, does that mean we are nothing more than slaves to fate?
I shifted my eyes to the napkin I crumpled in my hands. My fingers twisted the well pressed fabric, creating an uncomfortable tension that shot up my wrist to my elbow.
When did this little habit flourish?I could not find theanswer. I did not know why that action felt so foreign and unnatural.
I tried taking a deep breath, but my corset was too restricting, preventing my lungs from fully expanding. My deep red, exquisitely tailored, silk dress was embellished with gold stitching and gemstones that decorated the bodice and sleeves, making the inside of the top irritating to my skin. My hair was pulled back and tightened into a high updo that intensified the pressure I felt. Voices, laughter, and whispers sounded from every direction in the great hall,overwhelming my senses and provoking a dull headache that settled at my temples. If only I could excuse myself and go back to my room, but that was not possible. I bit my lip, avoiding looking at anyone.
The light from the lavish crystal chandeliers flickered across every wall, and every so often, a tiny speck would land on my face, intensifying the throbbing pain tenfold.
I was no more than a prized horse, a trapped animal preparing to be slaughtered. Today was the day I had been dreading for so long. Today was the day I was going to be promised to one of the males who scrutinized me from the other side of the table.
I swallowed and looked up.
Dozens of men from three dragon clans had tried to secure thesacred bride, thepromised one. In the high stake game of politics, my opinion hardly mattered to anyone. The only thing I could do is make a choice between them. Whether I wanted to marry or not was never a question.
My eyes shifted from face to face. Old men with deeply wrinkled skin and greedy eyes stared at me. The young sons, barely my own age, were probably feeling as adverse to being here as I was. Some of them looked cruel, with an uncomfortable glint in their eyes. Others appeared to be consumed by vices as they imbibed glass after glass of the fine wine provided.
The handkerchief in my hands tightened to the point that it could rip. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead. I glanced up, desperately searching for an exit.
“Milady, it’s time for your elixir,” a soft, caring voice sounded close to my ear.
I moved my head, meeting the large eyes of my maid. Her soft, round face and wavy, light hair stopped the crashing wave of panic in its wake.
“Sally, I . . . I’m not well,” I whispered.
“Milady, drink this. It always helps you with your nerves.” The girl pushed a tall goblet into my hand.
I brought it to my lips. The foul concoction hit my tongue and I focused on swallowing every drop, forcing it down my throat. Though the medicine often left me sluggish, dizzy and disoriented, it also helped me sleep, and silenced my gloomy thoughts. I had become completely dependent on it.
“Not long now, milady. Another hour or so, and I’ll take you back to your room where a bath will be waiting for you,” Sally whispered in my ear.
I closed my eyes for a moment, experiencing the pacifying effect of the whitebane flowers. The elixir wasfreshly made for me every day. Although it tasted awful, it soothed my headaches and helped the tremor in my limbs. It only took a few moments, and the throbbing in my head dulled, and my tensed muscles relaxed. I commanded myself enough to dismiss Sally just in time to see Lord Adger lifting his massive body from the seat.
“Milords, we are gathered here today to secure the future of all dragonborns. The most important moment for us all has finally arrived. Our blessed maiden is about to choose her future husband, and the clan she is going to call her own.”
Lord Adger paused, surveying the crowd. When his eyes landed on me, there was a momentary urge to cover my face with my hands, but the effects of the whitebane flowers removed my immediate concerns, and I just watched his mouth moving, saying words I could hardly distinguish. Lord Adger was an older man with an immense, round belly, and a sharp, malevolent look in his eyes. He belonged to the gold clan, and his two sons were sitting opposite of me, as my possible suitors. I remembered him intercepting me once, in the gardens when I was walking with Sally, to explain how well it would suit me to pick one of his sons. He talked about the wealth and prosperity for the dragon lands and how the union could build a better world for everyone.
I glanced behind him. Lady Corliss stood quietly at the back of the room, her hands clasped in front of her. She listened with all her attention without interfering in any way. Her light grey dress covered every inch of her pale skin.Her hair was brushed back in the same manner she had done to my hair earlier in the day. No matter how hard I tried, I could never guess her actual age. She was one of those people who could be in her late twenties or early fifties.
Then my eyes reluctantly moved to the table lined with possible suitors, and almost immediately landed on the two men who wore leather armor in a faint golden color. The older brother was Dayton. He had a bushy beard that concealed the lower part of his face. According to Sally, he already had two wives, and many children, but that had not stopped him from asking for my hand. Edsel was his younger brother. His still smooth face, and wide eyes indicated that he was much younger than me. As soon as I looked at him, he shifted in his seat and looked up at his father.
A good looking man with long, light blond hair in white armor was obviously the representative from the white clan. His name was Lord Rutherford, and he had arrived in Railand the day before with a large group of knights by his side. Sally could not tell me much about him, only that it was said that he was not married, and did not have any serious character defects.
My eyes went further, and I scrutinized the numerous groups in dark blue leathers. The clan of blue was the largest one, and currently did not have one distinguished leader. There were over half a dozen men representing their clan. Lord Halsey was a middle aged man who everyone knew had health issues and a wife who had not produced an heir. Nextto him was Lord Nyle, who, according to Sally, preferred men, but still wanted to get a chance to compete for the influence that my hand would bestow upon him. Lord Remington and Lord Olin were in a constant battle with each other, and entered only to interfere with each other's plans, both were very much married. Then there was Lord Waverly, who was probably in his seventies, widowed of course, and another lord, whose name I could not recall.
“. . . three respectable clans are awaiting your decision.” Lord Adger had finished his speech and was looking at me.
Only then did I realize it was not a dream. I was expected to just choose a husband right then and there.
The silence in the room loomed like a heavy storm cloud, blocking out everything between me and the others, as if trying to shield me from the inevitable. I looked at Lord Adger, suddenly too dazed to make any decisions. I lowered my gaze, and prepared to sit like that as long as I needed to make the madness stop.
“Well, child?” Lord Adger turned his towering body toward me.
I shook my head and the silence in the hall momentarily erupted with sighs and whispers. A lady at another table started furiously fanning her face. I focused on her bright, feathery fan, but her face was too blurry to see in the distance. The flowers of the whitebane began to take effect, and with each passing moment, I grew drowsier.
