“I’ve been sweating so much. I can’t believe this thing could possibly absorb all that nastiness.” Mayer sighed.
I said nothing, picking up the bar of soap.
When I put the suit back on ten minutes later, it wasfresh and clean, and looking like new. I brushed my hair with my fingers and put my boots back on.
“Wait for me!” Mayer hurried putting his suit on. Then his foot got stuck in the leg opening and he almost fell face down to the floor.
I paused in the doorway, while a group of soldiers brushed past me with scowls on their faces.
“All done.” Mayer followed me out of the washroom.
“Are they still bothering you?” I lowered my voice.
“Who? No, don’t worry about it. I’m fine,” he said in a dismissive way.
I turned away and proceeded following the well known path toward Alina’s room.
“There’s something I wanted to ask you.”
“Yes.”
“Do you . . . you and milady . . . Are you in love?”
I reacted so quickly that he did not even have time to blink. With one explosive motion, I shoved him against the wall and squeezed his throat.
“What did you just say?” I hissed into his ear.
“Nothing. I know nothing. Please. I just saw you walking out of her room in the middle of the night once.” He looked at me with his wide eyes.
The thoughts that entered my mind were all murderous. I could not have him talking about this to anyone.
“Do you know what I will do to you if you ever open your mouth about any of this?”
“No, please. I would never. I swear.”
“If you ever tell anyone, I will cut you into the smallest pieces and no one will ever find you.”
“I understand. I will never tell.”
Slowly, I adjusted the pressure, and a moment later, released him.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
ALINA
The next morning, I woke up well rested and refreshed. My body still relaxed after the lovely dream I had. In my dream, Kent was with me all night, holding me in his arms, taking away all of my worries, bringing me peace. It felt so real, so intimate and magical that I could not get him out of my head, even after Sally walked in and bustled around the room, talking about everything Corliss had planned for me that day.
“A walk with Lord Dayton has been arranged shortly after breakfast, then you are expected to have tea with his younger brother. Later in the day, all of us are going to gather for the annual parade.”
I sighed and looked out the window. More than any otherday, I was dreading every moment I had to spend in a similar way. I needed to do something useful, I needed to work, have real interactions with other people. Moments later, I started remembering bits and pieces of my regular days. I was always on the move, always helping to solve one problem or another. Talking to servants and merchants, figuring out better ways of doing things. I was always researching something, reading, or writing mountains of letters. I would oversee everything from the quality of paint that was used to seal the corners of the buildings, to repairing the villagers’ homes. I also organized all the celebrations.
I lowered my gaze, realizing that was what my life used to be. I was curious if Kent had ever seen me like that. I was never treated like a simpleton, and my brother was with me every step of the way, supporting me, encouraging me. I wanted to see him. Somehow I knew he was going crazy not knowing where I was. If he knew, he would come for me, I was sure of it.
“This is going to be such a great day,” Sally continued talking, but I hardly listened.
What did they do to me that left large chunks of my memories missing?What gave them the right to do that to someone?
It was infuriating that they thought they could manipulate me, that they thought I was going to be compliant and quiet. My blood boiled under my skin. I wanted to do something crazy, I wanted to defy them, show them all that they had made the wrong choice, and I would never be what they wanted me to be.
