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“I know.” She stepped away as Mrs. Benton approached, her face lined with worry. “I’ll let you say your goodbyes.”
Amy signaled for Jango, and he moved to her side, pressing against her leg, offering support.
“Amy, wait,” her cousin called. “I’ll go with you. Give you a hand.”
“Eloise, stay,” she said. “I can manage.”
“No.” Eloise turned to Gabe, offering a smile as she gave him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Be safe out there. I’ll see you when you’re back in town.”
Gabe nodded, and Amy could see the relief on his face that he’d escaped a long, tearful goodbye. But anything more than a quick kiss would violate the rules of a fling, Amy thought ruefully. And Eloise always stuck to the playbook when it came to men. She even made it look easy.
Maybe if Amy followed similar guidelines with Mark, she could have another night, maybe more, and still be spared the heartache when he left. Jango nuzzled her leg, and she blindly reached for him, running her hand over his head. Or maybe she should have followed the no-military-men rule without exceptions.
“El, I need to go.” Amy turned and headed for the house. If she stayed, she might fall apart. And she didn’t have time to pull herself back together before the guests arrived.
Eloise caught up with her halfway to the house, not saying a word as they approached the back door. Amy glanced at her cousin and saw one lone tear running down her cheek. Eloise quickly wiped it away. Amy looked at the house. Almost there.
Inside, she found two glasses and filled them with water from the kitchen sink. Turning, she held one out to her cousin.
“Tell me the truth, Eloise. Are you okay?”
“I checked the news on my phone. After he told me.” Eloise accepted the water, holding it tight between her hands. “Aid workers are trapped in Syria. There are mounting tensions in some small country in Africa I had never heard of and—”
“Guessing doesn’t help,” Amy said quietly. “Trust me.”
“How did you do this over and over?” Eloise demanded. “And not lose your mind?”
“I didn’t have a choice. I married a man who wanted to serve his country. He firmly believed that every time he deployed, it was worth risking his life.”
“Did you?”
Amy took a long drink of water, turning the question over and over. “When I stepped back and looked at those headlines, yes, I did. Those aid workers in the news, what were they doing?”
“Rescuing children from a small village torn apart by war.”
“After Darren left, I would watch the news for the first week, telling myself he was saving the world. It was greedy to want him home with me when he could be out there helping others. But some days, I woke up and I wanted to be selfish.” Amy shrugged. “I wished I could have my husband home safe and let someone else save the world. I loved him, and I hated the thought of losing him.”
Amy drained the rest of her glass and set it aside. “I know you said you wouldn’t, but did you fall in love with Gabe?”
“No.” Eloise’s eyes widened. “Of course not. I care about him. We’ve been friends for years. But we only spent a couple of nights together. I just... I wasn’t ready to let him go. I’m usually the one who ends things, not the other way around.”
Amy nodded, knowing she should feel relieved that her cousin had not fallen head over heels for a man whose duty required that he walk away at a moment’s notice. But inside she knew this was a warning. Mark was leaving, too. If losing her temporary lover shook her cousin, what would happen to Amy when Mark left? They’d said no strings, no promises, but saying the words didn’t mean her heart believed them.
12
AN HOUR LATER, Amy stood by the buffet table with a smile plastered on her face. She’d changed into her red sheath dress, matching blazer, stockings and simple black heels. Her blond hair was pulled up into a twist that looked effortless despite the dozens of pins required to keep it in place. In her hand, she held a plate overflowing with cookies. Moving through the crowded space, she felt as if she were navigating a nightmare.
“There you are.” Her mother-in-law grabbed her arm, pulling her toward a group of familiar faces. “You remember Alan and Marie Hardwick from church?”
“Of course.” Amy held out her free hand. “Thank you for coming.”
“We’re so proud of you. Building this all by yourself,” Marie Hardwick said.
“Oh, I had lots of help,” Amy said, nodding to her former mother-in-law.
“Of course you did.” Marie kept a hold of Amy’s hand, leaning closer. “Have you thought about what you’re going to do with the profits?”
Amy felt her hand holding the dessert plate dip, but caught herself before she dropped the jam-filled cookies on Marie Hardwick’s shoes.
