Page 57 of My Fake Highland Wedding Disaster

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— Ewan has this idea that… well, that we might need time alone. To “strengthen our story.”

— Ah.

That single word carries more subtext than an entire season of reality TV.

— He means well, I add awkwardly as we pull away from the castle.

— I’m sure he does.

An awkward silence settles in the car. I focus on the winding road, desperately searching for a topic.

— Did you sleep well? I ask finally, immediately wincing at how banal it sounds.

She was already asleep when I came in to take the couch. And I left before she woke up.

— I think I should be asking you that.

I shrug.

— The couch isn’t as bad as it looks, I deflect.

In reality, it’s worse…

— I had a nightmare where your grandmother was chasing me with a giant bagpipe while shouting dance instructions in Gaelic, but other than that, yes, I slept well.

I can’t help but smile.

— After your Quaich ceremony lesson, that seems predictable.

— That tradition of drinking from the same cup is charming, but why does it have to be straight whisky? I mean, a cocktail would be so much nicer.

— Suggesting a cocktail at a traditional Scottish ceremony would be like putting ketchup on haggis.

— Speaking of haggis, is it served at breakfast? Because honestly, I’m not sure I can handle sheep organs before noon.

— You’re safe. Breakfast’s in the backpack. Scones, hard-boiled eggs, cheese, and fruit. Nothing that’s been inside a sheep’s stomach, I promise.

— You’re my hero, she sighs dramatically.

The silence that follows is more comfortable. Jane watches the landscape through the window, clearly fascinated by the hills rolling past in the morning mist.

— It’s really beautiful, she murmurs. So green.

— That’s the upside of all the rain you complain about.

— I’m starting to appreciate Scotland’s charm. It’s like the landscape is alive… like it’s breathing.

— That’s exactly it, I say, surprised by her insight. The Highlands are a living organism. They’re constantly changing with the seasons, the light, the clouds…

I stop myself, aware of my sudden enthusiasm.

— Sorry. I get a bit lyrical when it comes to this place.

— Don’t apologize. It’s refreshing to see you passionate about something that isn’t an Excel spreadsheet.

— I’m passionate about plenty of things! I protest.

— Really? Like what?