“You do that,” Grandpop said. “I’m rather enchanted by this lovely wood nymph here. What’s your name, my dear?”
“Sapphyah.”
“Sapphire? How unusual! And how creative your parents were to name you after a jewel.”
“Welp, my real name’s Mahtha. I just use Sapphyah on the stage.”
“Very smart,” Grandpop commended. “Martha is also beautiful name, but I see your point about anonymity. You know, if I were fifty years younger, I’d just ask for your phone number, Sapphire. You’re a very hard worker!”
Lorenzo wove his way through the cheering bro-storm and finally spied Winnie, Robbie, Grady and Dante sitting at a table in the corner.
“Enough glitter for you, Lorenzo?” Robbie asked, grinning.
“More than enough. Your grandfather is having a wonderful time, however.”
Winnie glanced over. “He’s probably about to adopt her.”
“Or marry her,” Robbie said. “Winster, we wouldn’t mind a step-grandmother younger than we are, would we?”
“Whatever makes Grandpop happy,” Winnie said, clinking her bottle against his.
“Lorenzo, do you practice mostly at Mass General?” Grady asked, and Lorenzo was so, so grateful to talk about something normal. Grady had also gone to Harvard, he learned, though their paths hadn’t crossed.
“Dr. Santini? Is that you? Oh, my God, wicked!”
Lorenzo turned and found himself eye-to-nipple with someone. Rather, eye to a nipple covered by a black leather studded thing five centimeters in diameter. In order to avoid being blinded (and sued), he jerked back, nearly toppling his chair. Robbie leaned forward and righted him, laughing.
“How do you know Dr. Santini?” Winnie asked, and her eyes were dancing with glee.
“I’m an intern at Cape Cod Hospital! This is amazing! Dr. Santini, listen. I hope I’m not being too forward?—”
“You are,” Lorenzo said, tilting his head to be as far away from her left breast as possible.
“I get it. You’re celebrating something?” she asked.
“It’s my bachelor party,” Robbie said. “I take it you work here?”
“That’s right. The tips are a lot better than at the ice cream stand, you know what I’m saying? My name’s Greer Henderson, stage name Luscious. Nice to meet you and congratulations!” She leaned across the table to shake Robbie’s hand, and this time Lorenzo had to slide out of his seat to avoid being hit in the face by her punk-rock pasties. In addition to the, ah, coverings, she wore a leather thong and ridiculously high heels. Her feet would be deformed before she was forty.
“Dr. Santini, I would kill to get into grand rounds with you,” Greer said, looking up at him. Her eyelids were encrusted with glitter, and he could see a blob of glue on her false eyelashes. Glue, near the human eye. Ridiculous. “I’m just an intern, but I feel strongly that I’m heading for surgery. Do you have any advice?”
He glanced at his companions. “Yes. My advice would be not to approach me in public.”
“That’s cold, Lorenzo,” Dante chided. “She’s seizing an opportunity to pick your mighty brain. Now’s as good a time as any, right?”
Later, he would kill his brother and apologize to Lark.
“Greer, sit down,” Robbie said, and she did without apparent concern about the cleanliness of the chair.
“Lorenzo is an incredible mentor,” Winnie said. “You were just talking about that in San Francisco, weren’t you? Mentoring young medical students?”
He took a slow breath, turned to this Greer person and, looking only at her hairline, said, “Here’s my advice, Dr. Henderson. Learn anatomy in theory and in practice. Think in three dimensions. Spend twenty minutes a day practicing suturing and knots, beginning now. Stop wearing those ridiculous shoes or you won’t be able to stand for twelve hours in an OR. Listen to the nurses. They will know more than you for the next decade. Don’t be defensive when criticized. Learn the instruments. Start training yourself to function on four hours or less of sleep. Show up early. Don’t ask questions before trying to answer them yourself. Keep a journal of lessons learned from your mistakes and don’t make them again. Best of luck.”
Winnie, Robbie, Dante and Grady burst into applause. Greer said, “Thank you so much, Dr. Santini! I’m so glad I ran into you! Everyone’s gonna be so jealous I got a one-on-one with Dr. Satan! Can I give you a hug?”
“No,” he said. “Winnie, help me.”
Winnie was laughing so hard tears sparkled in her eyes, and for a second, Lorenzo felt like smiling. She stood up, put herself between Greer and himself, and said, “Greer, if you really want to make a good impression on Dr. Santini, maybe don’t mention we dragged him to a strip club for my brother’s bachelor party, okay? He’s here under duress, and only because he’s a good guy.”
