Prologue
Josh: 12
Erika: 11
JOSH
“No.”
I slammed my fist into the barn’s support post.Blood welled where skin split at the knuckles.
Good.
It forced me to feel something.Two weeks since the funeral and numbness had been my only companion.
“You will go out there and feed the left field.”My older brother, Timothy, towered above me, a reminder I hadn’t had the growth spurt my Dad promised would hit.“I’ve got a date in twenty minutes, and I’m not missing it because you’re having one of your little moods.”
He rolled his favorite knife in his hand, the one he used to cut hay bale ties.The metal flashed as he stepped closer, close enough that I could smell his aftershave.“Mom and Dad are in Raleigh.That means I’m in charge.You will do what I say.”
“It’s your problem,” I shot back.“I did the horse barn.Cows were never mine to do today.”
A month ago, I might’ve caved for a single word of approval.Being six years older made Timothy almost an adult, and someone I’d idolized.Now I wanted him to hit me.I deserved it.I held his glare and said it again, softer and sharper.“No.”
He slammed his palm against the door of the stall I’d just finished mucking.The bang echoed through the barn like a gunshot.“You are a useless, unreliable, selfish little snot,” he snarled.“I’m not throwing away my one chance tonight because you can’t follow simple orders.”
“After two hours busting my ass up here, I’m not slogging through the muddiest part of the pasture so you don’t miss your chance to get it on with some girl who’s leaving town.”
His face warped, grief hardening into something sharp and merciless.“You owe me.You owe all of us.”The knife trembled in his fist as he pointed it at my chest.“You should be doing every chore until the end of time.Maybe then you’ll learn what it means to listen.”He took a step closer, eyes burning.“You had one job.Watch Brian.That was it.And he drowned.He’s dead because of you.”
The words hit exactly where he meant them to.A spear straight through my ribs.I should’ve let it end there.Let it break me.But I couldn’t.
“You were the one too busy sucking face with Amy What’s-Her-Name on the Ferris wheel during the festival to do what Mom askedyouto do.”
Timothy’s arm snapped.The blade left his hand and buried itself in the dirt by my boot.Close enough that soil jumped against my bare calf.Close enough to mean something.
I stared at it, then bent and picked it up.The metal felt wrong in my palm—too heavy, too real.Fear rushed in.I let it slip from my fingers.
Instinct jerked me sideways, but not fast enough.The blade fell in a blunt, slicing arc and kissed my calf.For a heartbeat, the barn went silent except for my breath ripping in and out of my chest.
Timothy froze.
The rage drained from his face so fast it left him gray.His eyes locked on the thin red line welling on my calf as if he could rewind the last ten seconds by sheer force of disbelief.
Neither of us breathed.
“You…” His voice cracked.He swallowed hard, Adam’s apple jerking.“You did that.Not me.”He took a step back like I’d shoved him.“Take care of the cows,” he muttered.
Then he stormed out, boots pounding.
I stared at my leg.
Blood dribbled in a slow, surreal ribbon, pooling in the dirt.It should’ve hurt.I waited for the pain to arrive, but all I felt was empty.
“What’s with him?”Erika stood framed in the barn doors, the afternoon light catching in her dark brown hair.
I completely forgot I agreed to work on our science project, which was due tomorrow.In class today I tried to get her to just do it since I didn’t really care about school anymore.She said no.It was a “group project,” and I was her entire group.Which meant, according to her, we were doing it together today.And nobody—especially not me—could change Erika Chomping’s mind.
She tilted her head, long strands sliding over her shoulder, and stomped mud from her battered tennis shoes.“You still got chores?I can help if?—”
