The words Milly said pinged around inside my skull long after they’d been spoken, bouncing around until they scraped me raw.The drive back to the clinic was a complete blur—streetlights stretching into smears of white and yellow, the world moving while I felt frozen in place.Everything inside me seemed wrapped in cotton, muffled, like I wasn’t really in my own body.
Inside the clinic, I found Josh in the office, typing.
I could barely think through the pain of him never being mine.I didn’t know what to say.
He glanced up from where he was typing records to where I leaned against the doorframe, water dripping off my raincoat.He glanced down to the rubber boots I hadn’t taken off and frowned.“Are you okay?”
I rasped out, “How could you do that to Milly?To deny her when she’s having a baby?Yourbaby?”
He blinked rapidly as if trying to reset reality.“What?She’s pregnant?”
“She told me you didn’t want it.Are you… Shit, Josh, are you asking her to get an abortion even though she wants to keep it?”I swallowed hard.“I’m not sure I even know who you are if you?—”
“What the hell is this about?”Josh stood.“You think that I got Milly pregnant and then told her to piss off when she told me?Or that I said she should abort a baby?”
I blinked up at him, trying to process the horror on his face.My brain warned me something was off, but my mouth kept talking.“She was at your parents’ house when I was out there to tend to the miniature horse.She said your mom was going to be a grandmother.She wanted to ask your mom for guidance.Like you’d already told her to do that.”
His face flushed a deep red.“I can’t believe you think that I’d tell any woman who carried my child to do that.Who do you think I am?”
“I don’t—” My voice broke.Softly I whispered, “I don’t really know.Even at our worst, I always knew you were kind.You’ve got this heart that’s justgood.But this?I don’t know how to process it.It’s not who I thought you were.”
“You automatically assume anything Milly says is the truth.You immediately doubt me and think I could do something like that?I thought I knew whoyouwere, that you trusted me.”
“I’m lost,” I whispered.
“Let me set one thing straight.Theonlywoman who could be pregnant with my child is you.I never,neverslept with Milly.Whoever the hell’s child she’s carrying isn’t mine.If she suggested my mother is going to be a grandmother, then it’s got to be Timothy’s.The thought of him sleeping with Milly while I was dating her is….”Josh shook his head.“But you think I’d tell her to…to…” His silence became dangerous, the kind of silence before something breaks.
It wasn’t his baby.The relief was so profound.
But I’d messed up.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
His mouth opened as if he was about to say something but then it shut.He picked up his keys and walked out of the office.His back to me, he stopped.Without turning my way he said, “Erika, whatever we had is broken beyond repair.You showed me that right now.I can’t believe you imagined I was that kind of awful.I’m…” He dropped his chin.“I’m disappointed.I-I can’t do this with you.”
I stared at the door he disappeared through, unable to blink.When it swung shut, the soft click echoed like a gunshot.Final.Absolute.It felt like the last thread between us snapped right there.
ChapterThirty-Four
ERIKA
Two weekslater
I typed notes as fast as I could to finish up the last case.Appointments had run later than expected this Saturday.I’d missed Vinny’s two games this morning, but it was a tournament, which meant I could see him play tomorrow.
Josh and I remained civil at work as the days blurred by, but something had broken between us.He couldn’t look at me.He wouldn’t discuss the architect’s plans for the new facility.He wouldn’t talk about anything that had to do with my business proposal.
I’d been able to push off a meeting with the Tadlocks and the other big horse people for another week.But I had a bad feeling that when we finally had the official meeting with our potential investors next week, he’d say I had to do it alone.Could I?Yes.Did I want to?No.
“I’m heading out,” Bonnie called as she left.“Marty is finishing up front.”
I waved.“I’m almost done.Thanks for your help keeping me on track today.”
Finally done, I ducked into the office to grab my stuff.As I stepped out, I heard, “Hello, babe.”
My head whipped around to the entrance to the treatment area.Jay Renfroe leaned against the doorway with his arms folded over his chest.Shadows lurked under his eyes.Dark stubble lined his chin and under his nose.His kakis and blue button-down shirt were wrinkled.I’d never seen him look so unkept.
“Jay.”I tried to keep my voice smooth, but his fanatical grin shot anxiety through me.“What are you doing so far from Philly?”
