I dragged my sleeve across my face, trying to force myself to breathe.“I’m sorry,” I managed, though my voice was shredded.“It’s just been a lot these past few days.And now this—” A broken, strangled sob ripped through my chest, stealing whatever air I had left.“I still can’t believe Dad is gone.That your mom is gone.”
Vinny pressed his face into my back, his arms tightening around me like he was afraid I might disappear.“Me too,” he whispered.His voice cracked.“I miss Mom.”
The realization he was crying hit me like a punch.I turned and wrapped my arms around him, holding him as tightly as I could, clutching him like he was the only solid thing in a world that kept collapsing.“I’m sorry,” I choked out.“I’m not good at this parenting stuff.”
“You don’t have to be my parent,” he murmured into my shoulder.“Being my sister is okay.”
A ragged laugh-sob ripped out of me.“I’ve never had a brother before,” I said, voice shaking.“I might suck at being a sibling.”My chest caved and the tears surged again, deep gut-wrenching sobs that hurt like bruises blooming under skin.
Eventually, the storm slowed.We sat side by side on the floor, backs pressed to the wall, silent except for the occasional broken sob that slipped out between breaths—two people trying to hold each other together in the wreckage.
“What am I going to do?”It was a rhetorical question I’d shot into the universe as if some deity would provide answers.
“You should dump that guy,” Vinny said.Damn if the kid didn’t look proud for giving sage advice.
“Already done.”I gazed up at the ceiling and laughed.“The sick part is I’m relieved.I wanted out of that for a while.”
“What’s going on with you and Coach Hurst?”Vinny asked quietly.“He watched you play the game at the bar.”
I exhaled, staring ahead.“He thinks I should stay here and work at the clinic.Dad owed him a lot of money, and he expects me to pay it back.And we don’t exactly get along.”
“Seemed like he likes you,” Vinny said, shifting against my side, trying to get comfortable.“Is that why you don’t want to work here?Because you don’t like him?”
“It’s not that.”I shook my head.“I still have a job up north.I’m studying to be a specialist in emergency animal medicine.That means I deal with serious cases.Like dogs and cats on the edge, life-or-death stuff.I’m not good at the everyday farm work.Not like your coach.”
“You do stuff like pull arrows out of dogs?That kind of life or death stuff?”
“Yes.I’m not good at treating cows or chickens or horses anymore.”
Vinny yawned.
I suppressed a smile.“Do you want to take a nap?I’ll wake you up when we have to leave.”
He was already out.
I eased him down onto the makeshift towel bed and slid a cat bed under his head so he’d have something soft.He clung to me without even realizing it, one of his small hands fisted into the material of my shirt.
He needed me.Really needed me.I’d never carried this kind of need for someone else before.What was I supposed to do with that?What kind of life could I give him in Philadelphia?
* * *
Midnight.Where was Dr.Voodoo Ears?
I phoned him.
No answer, but a cell phone rang in the office where the door was shut.
Light poured in behind me when I opened the door, spotlighting Josh conked out half on, half off the miniature sofa.I winced just looking at the angle of his neck.
He must’ve been here the whole time, since before we got here at eight.I wondered why he didn’t go home.Maybe he figured this would save time?
His phone lay on the floor a half foot from his open palm.
I tried calling again—partly to avoid touching him, partly because the last thing I wanted was to startle him awake.The shrill ring had to be set at full volume, but he didn’t twitch.
I hadn’t stepped into this cubicle of an office in a long time.What used to be a chaotic disaster of papers from wall to wall was now shockingly tidy with two computers, a filing cabinet, and actual open desk space.I’m not sure I’d ever witnessed open landscape on that desk before.Apparently, Josh had a secret neat streak.
No paper charts littered the desk like I remembered from childhood.In fact, I hadn’t seen a paper chart with multi-color stickers since I got here.Had the practice gone digital?Call me impressed to see Midstreet Veterinary Clinic charging into the twenty-first century.
