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“We are never having sex again,” Tria stated. “Never.”
“Oh, really?” I replied.
“Really.”
“Seems…unlikely.”
“I’m completely serious.”
I bit down on my lip to keep from laughing. Actually, the whole conversation was making me horny, but I wasn’t going to push it that far, especially knowing I wasn’t about to get any for the next few weeks.
“You won’t last,” I informed her. “Within two weeks, you’ll be going nuts for my cock.”
She tried to hold it in, but she still giggled, then cringed and pressed her hand against her belly.
“Sorry,” I muttered.
“It’s okay,” she said with a sigh. “Like they say, it hurts to laugh.”
Baby Katie must have shared the discomfort because she let out a tiny cry. I jumped up and looked over at the nurse to see if she knew what was wrong. All I got was a patronizing smile and a word of reassurance as she walked out to get someone to help with nursing.
“Do you think she’s hungry?” I asked.
Tria shrugged.
“I don’t know. I have no idea what I’m doing here.”
Taking her from Tria for a moment, I held Baby Katie like a loaf of bread and rocked a little, but she didn’t stop crying. I checked the diaper, but the thing was so hi-tech, I couldn’t tell if it was wet or not.
“I think she is,” I said.
“Let’s give it a shot.”
Breastfeeding a baby has got to be one of the most natural things in the whole world. It’s absolutely beautiful and perfect and as magical as people tell say. If I hadn’t believed in a god, watching my baby’s mother feed my child was enough to make me a believer.
Why the fuck no one ever tells a new mother how hard it is to get the hang of it is beyond me.
Tria and Baby Katie spent the next two hours with various nurses, lactation consultants, La Leche League reps, and tears before they finally managed to get two tits worth of milk into our new baby. Then another nurse came in and asked how many ounces Baby Katie had, and the look Tria gave her was enough to send her running.
By the end of our stay, we were going to alienate the entire hospital staff.
The next nursing session wasn’t a whole lot better but only lasted about half as long. Unfortunately, it came about twenty minutes after the first one. Tria was exhausted, and the nurses were driving her nuts. With tears in her eyes, she turned to me, and I lost it.
“Just get the fuck out, all right?” I snapped. “All of you!”
I don’t know if the nurse thought I was joking or what, but she ignored me. I started heading around to the side of the bed where she stood. A second later, my father was there at my side, stopping me from whatever I was about to do.
I wasn’t sure what it was, either, but in retrospect, it probably would have been bad.
The next thing I knew, Dad ushered everyone out of the room—family included. He gave me a quick nod before shutting the door and presumably stood guard outside of it. Tria and I were suddenly alone with our baby.
I pulled the rolling chair up close and reached out my hand to Baby Katie’s cheek. Her head turned a little toward me, and her mouth started working like she wanted to eat, but she just couldn’t get the hang of it.
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do!” Tria sobbed quietly.
“Shhh,” I said to both of them. “Remember what the doctor said? Babies get all this extra fat and stuff while they’re inside of you so they have time to learn to eat and whatever until the right kind of milk comes in.”
“Instead of colostrum,” Tria said with a sniff.
