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“You mean that?” she asked.
“I do,” I said. “I want to know if Krazy Katie is right about it being a girl.”
Tria laughed and hugged me tightly. I rolled to my back, taking her with me, and kissed the top of her head. I inhaled deeply to bring the scent of her hair further into my mind. She smelled so good, like she always did, and for some reason, that made me start thinking about how good she was overall. Completely and totally good. Good for me.
And what did she get? An ex-junkie who couldn’t face his past. Nice trade there.
You’re getting better.
Yeah, maybe. Erin said so. Tria seemed okay with the progress I had made even if there were some things I still couldn’t do. I hoped going with her for the sonogram was a good move and I didn’t freak out or anything. The very idea of it was stressful though I couldn’t say exactly why. Seeing the…the baby…inside of her with a little machine that saw through her skin? It was just weird.
And kinda gross.
But still, I had to do those things—I had to show her I could be what she needed. I wasn’t really sure if she knew how much I thought about that, and telling her just sounded awkward.
If you don’t tell Tria how you’re feeling, how can you expect her to know? Osmosis?
Erin’s voice echoed in my head.
I licked my lips and took a long breath. I moved my hand up and down Tria’s back, but there was still a lot of tension just underneath my skin. The deep-seated desire to punch something was creeping up my spine and into my shoulders. I wanted to swing, make contact, and feel the jarring sensation through my arm. I wanted to feel the pain in my knuckles when I made a good hit.
I wanted to fight.
“You know I love you, don’t you?” I said. My voice sounded desperate, but I wasn’t sure why. I just knew it was important for her to know, just like Erin had told me.
“I know, Liam,” she replied. She pushed herself up, leaned across me, and crossed her arms over my chest before resting her chin on her forearms. “I love you, too.”
Her eyes smiled at me, but they didn’t offer comfort. If anything, the look distressed me more.
“I mean really, really love you,” I said with more earnest. I wrapped both my arms around her shoulders. When I hugged her, I brought her a little farther up my chest.
“I know,” she said again.
“I’d do anything for you.”
She reached up and touched the tip of my nose with the tip of her finger.
r /> “Liam, what are you getting at?”
“I…I want…” I stopped. I couldn’t say this. I didn’t want to upset her.
“What do you want?” she pressed.
I sighed heavily.
“I want to fight again,” I said, and I felt Tria tense. Before she could say anything, I quickly continued. “Not competitively or anything, just at a gym. You know—practicing…training…sparring. That kind of shit.”
“No cage?”
“No cage,” I confirmed.
Tria went quiet for a minute, and with each passing moment, I was more on edge. When she opened her mouth, I cringed and prepared for the worst.
“Then do it,” she said.
“Really?” My eyes went wide as I looked at her face to make sure I wasn’t imagining everything. “But you hate it.”
Tria’s lips pressed together for a moment.
