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I can’t even trust myself.
Sleep comes and goes.
I feel little difference between the two states now. I used to know exactly how many hours, minutes, and seconds had passed, but time has no meaning for me anymore. Sometimes I’m in a cell and there are people around me, talking. Sometimes I’m in the lab with Riley. Sometimes I find myself on a farm as a child, playing with my sister. I have no idea which one is real anymore.
“So, no response at all?”
“Not for two days now. Nothing coherent, anyway.”
“He won’t eat?”
“I’ve got him on an IV now.”
I miss the taste and texture of the liquid nutrition drinks Riley prepared for me. There wasn’t anything special about them, but she made them for me, and that was important. She drugged them to make me sleep, but that didn’t matter. She’d do anything for me.
She lied to me.
Ice flows through my veins. I can’t breathe unless I tilt my head back, and I’m so cold, I’m not sure why I bother. I should let go—let the water take me. I can’t do it, though. Something inside me won’t let me give up.
“He responds better to Anna.”
“Of course he does.”
“Why do you say that?”
“You understand why the doctors are all female, don’t you? They use sex to obfuscate any information the specimens may ingest that goes against what they’ve been told. They have to trust their doctors, or it all falls apart. What better way to control a man than with his dick?”
“Do you think I can control him?”
“Honestly? I think he’s a bigger danger to you than anyone else here.”
I see my sister. She’s home from school and laughing about a joke she’d heard during class. I’m worried, but I don’t want to alarm her, so I say nothing.
The next time I see her, she’s covered in blood.
They have her. They have my sister.
I scream. I scream over and over again until my voice is hoarse, and my throat burns. I’m being strapped down, and I thrash against the hands that restrain me.
Don’t take my memories away!
I feel heavy and warm. I’ve been injected with something again, but I don’t know what, and I don’t know by whom. The warmth is welcomed, though. I let it lull me back to sleep.
I wake to pain.
I have no way of determining the origin. There is no stopping or starting point—everything hurts. It goes on and on without end.
Whatever small fraction of my brain that is still capable of rational thought cries out for Riley. She’s the only one who can take this torment away.
With great effort, I force my eyes open. I know the face closest to me. She’s tried to care for me, but she can’t.
“Please.” I turn my hand over and move it just enough to clamp onto her arm. “Please…I need Riley.”
Anna looks at me with wide eyes.
“Galen?” she whispers.
“Please,” I say again. “Riley.”
