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“I’m Daniel,” I said. “I’m an alcoholic and a chain smoker, and I don’t have any alcohol and only have two smokes. I’m going to try to stop myself from being a total dick, but it isn’t always going to work because I’m already starting to get the shakes, and there’s still probably a decent amount of alcohol in my system. This time tomorrow I’ll be a whole lot worse off.”
Raine sat still, just looking at me.
“You’re my responsibility,” I continued. “It doesn’t matter if it’s a storm or a shark or a reef or anything else; it’s always the captain’s responsibility to keep the passengers alive. I obviously did a shitty job with the rest since you’re the only one I got left. I don’t like being responsible for anybody but me, and it pisses me off.”
I sat back and waited for her to confirm the whole situation was my fault.
“If you know you are an alcoholic, why don’t you try to stop?”
Why she decided to start with that little tidbit was beyond me.
“Knowing doesn’t give me a reason to stop,” I shrugged.
“Why do you drink so much?”
I could feel myself starting to tense up. I had to make her stop asking about this kind of shit.
“I don’t talk about my past,” I stated. “Asking me about it isn’t going to get you too far, and it will definitely piss me off. If we’re starting over, just let it fucking rest, okay? It will make not being a dick a hell of a lot easier for me.”
She looked over to me, and I waited for her to ask another fucking question.
“I understand,” she said.
I must have given her a look of shock.
“I’m not blind, you know,” Raine said. She gestured towards me. “You have obviously had it rough.”
“What, the scars?” I chuckled a little. “Those don’t mean anything. Like I said – I was a fighter. Badges of honor and all that shit.”
“Can I ask you about the fighting?”
“No,” I said. At least she was asking if she could ask.
“All right, I won’t,” she said.
I relaxed just a little, since she seemed to get it, and it looked like she wasn’t going to pry any more. We sat in silence for a while as I looked out over the horizon and she paged, a little less violently, through the survival guide.
“You didn’t issue the anti-seasickness medication yet,” Raine said out of the blue. “I’m assuming you’ve already appointed yourself as the person in charge.”
Going step by step through the survival guide. Fucking fantastic.
“You want it?”
“I’m not seasick.”
“I meant do you want the position?”
“Being in charge?”
“Yeah.”
“No – you can have it.”
“Well, fuck,” I said, glancing over at her out of the corner of my eye. “I thought I was going to get out of it for a minute.”
Raine giggled.
She fucking giggled, and the sound went straight to my cock.
