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“Whatever’s going on in your head,” he said, “we can work it out.”
“I’ve already got it worked out,” I responded.
“I don’t think you’ve considered the consequences.” Landon’s voice was calm, and his face was expressionless. He was likely thinking I was acting on impulse as opposed to how much time I’d been thinking about how all this had to end.
“It’s the only choice you guys left me with,” I said. “I’m done with this—all of it. I want to move on. I want a different life. As long as you hold the past over my head, I can’t do that, and you’re always going to want me under your thumb. There’s only one solution.”
I slid my finger up against the trigger and held the Beretta level with Landon’s head.
“You don’t want to do that.”
“The fuck I don’t.”
Landon’s eyes didn’t change but remained filled with their usual clear and focused determination. His chest rose and fell once with his breath.
“You want to kill me, yes, sure,” he agreed, “but if you do, you’ll never figure it out.”
“Figure what out?”
“How to do it,” he replied.
I raised an eyebrow and pulled the hammer back with a click. Landon responded with a smirk.
“You can’t live like this. You want to go back to that deserted little island and play native, but she can’t live like that. You have no fucking clue what to do about it, but I do.”
I stared at him until I was sure he wasn’t giving me a line of bullshit. It didn’t take long—Landon wasn’t one to make shit up just to save his life. Whatever he had in mind, it was something he’d thought about, weighed all of the pros and cons, and determined the best possible course.
“Spill it,” I said. “If it makes sense, maybe I don’t need to pull the trigger.”
“I’m not stupid, Sebastian.”
“But you are on the wrong end of the barrel this time.”
For a moment, I saw a flash in his eyes. I wasn’t sure if it was anger or fear, but it was a show of emotion. Weakness.
“Time’s up,” I told him.
“The Everglades,” he said bluntly.
“What about them?” I asked as I narrowed my eyes.
“Lots of little hammocks where you could build a decent shelter,” he responded with a shrug. “Plenty of birds and fish, lots of edible plants around. You gotta watch out for gators, but I think you can manage that. Twenty minutes to Miami, so she’s got
her civilization. Even if she doesn’t want to live in a fucking tiki hut, I bet she’d be willing to stay there on the weekends. The rest of the time, she can hang out in that condo of yours.”
As he talked, I could see it all forming in my head: a little shelter with a grass roof, a fire pit off to one side to cook and boil water, and Raine curled up next to me while the spring rain falls around us. I could teach Alex all about the plants and animals, and Raine would make sure he learned about conservation of the ecosystem. I could use a kayak or even an airboat to get to a place where a car could be parked, ready to take them both back to Miami any time they wanted to go there. I could even go with her as long as it wasn’t for too long or anything. I could wait in the fucking car for all I cared.
Part of me wanted that. A lot.
Landon’s vision made sense for the man he knew, for the man I used to be. This was just the sort of thing I would have desired. It would keep me away from people, which I didn’t care for, but still let me have access to Raine and Alex whenever I wanted to see them.
But it wasn’t about me. Not anymore.
Alex needed a father—someone who was there with him all the time—and not the shit kind of relationships I’d had as a kid with part-time foster parents and counselors in group homes. He needed me to be there for him every day.
Raine did, too.
I didn’t need to isolate myself from the rest of the world. I just needed to be Alex’s father and Raine’s…Raine’s…
