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“Since when do you eat that shit?” I asked.
“I worked it all off already,” he claimed. “She was fucking phenomenal. Luscious Lilliana. She’s got one of those nice, round asses you just want to squeeze and bite. I hate how skinny most of the chicks around here are. I need a woman with some meat on her bones.”
“Like that bro-hemoth you dated in Seattle?”
“Stacey?” John Paul leaned back in his seat. “She was a beast.”
“Yeah, exactly,” I replied as I remembered the dark-skinned woman who was all muscle and no tits. She wasn’t that tall, but you couldn’t tell it by her attitude. John Paul had dated her for a couple of months, which was probably a record for him. “She took more steroids than half the guys we worked out with.”
“Ah, you’re just pissed she could squat more than you could.”
“She fucking could not!”
“She did that one day.”
“Fluke,” I waved my hand dismissively. “I was off one day, and you started all that bullshit just to fuck with me.”
John Paul laughed and adjusted his black cowboy hat as he leaned over the table and looked more closely at me. His eyes narrowed slightly as his lips smashed together.
“You look like shit, ya know.”
“Fuck you,” I replied.
“Just sayin’.” He leaned back again and started drumming his fingers on the table. He watched me for a minute as the server deposited a huge plate of nachos with all the extras in the center of the table. “So what’s up with you?”
“Meh.” I shrugged. “Been fighting with Raine a bit.”
“Trouble in paradise?”
His choice of words vibrated in my ears and sent unwelcomed tingles down my back. In paradise there hadn’t been any trouble.
All right, that was total bullshit, but it was the sort of trouble I could handle. Raine had been attacked by a bunch of shit-bag human traffickers who promptly died by my hand. Aside from that, there had been bad storms and my ever-present grumpiness. I’d always been moody, and Raine had to put up with my shitty attitude on a regular basis while we were stranded, but now it was worse. I still had a shitty attitude, but here I also had five thousand extraneous variables to set me off instead of just the fucked up shit inside my head. I had no idea how Raine put up with me at all.
“I’m an asshole,” I said with a shrug.
“No shit! Really?” John Paul placed his hand in the center of his chest and made his mouth into a big “O” before he started laughing. “Is she tired of your crap?”
“I dunno,” I said. “Probably.”
“So what did you do?”
I shrugged again. I didn’t really want to get into it, but I also couldn’t stop thinking about the whole situation. Maybe it would be better to tell him everything.
“Lindsay and Nick came over for dinner,” I finally said. “That dude pisses me off. I was a dick, Raine got mad, and I left.”
“Sounds like you handled that superbly.”
“You can shove your sarcasm up your ass, you know.”
“You going to argue the point?”
I wasn’t, but I also wasn’t going to justify the remark with a response. I was still thinking about what I had revealed to Raine and—quite frankly—to myself. I didn’t like talking to people because I didn’t have anything to say.
“It’s not them, really,” I said. “I know it’s me. I just…don’t have any purpose here, ya know?”
“What kind of purpose?”
“In Raine’s life,” I said. “She needed me there, and she doesn’t need me here. I just…exist beside her without anything to do.”
