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I look through the rest of it. It’s mostly just the apps that come with a phone though I do find one surprise.
“You have games on here.”
“Just a couple.”
“Candy Crush? Really?” I laugh.
“Hey, even I get bored at work sometimes.”
I don’t really believe that, but something about Deklan playing stupid phone games relaxes me.
“Happy now?” he asks as he takes the phone back.
“Not at all.”
“Why not?”
I look down at my hands as I search for the right words.
“Because I want to know more about you,” I say, “and that didn’t help at all.”
“Maybe you should just ask.”
“You don’t usually answer my questions.”
“You ask the wrong questions. You ask questions that could get you into trouble, and I’m not going to put my wife at risk.”
“So, I can ask you about other things? Personal things?”
“Of course. I can’t swear I’ll answer them all, but I won’t lie to you.”
I wonder if the pain medication is altering his judgment but decide it’s best to jump on this opportunity. I might not get another one.
“You’re really Catholic?”
“Yes.”
“Do you believe in all of that stuff? God, Jesus, the Virgin Mary—all that Bible stuff?”
“Yes,” Deklan says darkly, “I believe in all that Bible stuff.”
“Then how can you reconcile what you do?”
There’s a long pause as Deklan stares at me. He takes a couple of deep breaths.
“I go to confession every week.”
This is news to me, and I try to picture Deklan cramming himself into a confessional box while a priest listens to him admit to murder and whatever else he’s done. The picture in my head looks ridiculous, but he said he wouldn’t lie to me.
“I’m tired,” Deklan says suddenly. “Can we pick this up another time?”
“Sure.” I get up from the chair and turn the lights off.
When I sit back down, Deklan settles back in the bed and reaches for my hand. He rubs my wrist for a moment before he interlocks our fingers and closes his eyes. He’s asleep just a few minutes later, but I stay right next to the bed for some time before releasing his hand and situating myself in the recliner.
I can’t sleep. The recliner is lumpy, and there is way too much on my mind. I stare over at Deklan’s bed in the low lighting.
He’s an enigma. He’s gentle and protective of me but arrogant and brutal with others. I don’t know what to think of it. Either he is two people inside of one body, or one of his personas is a lie.
