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Just as I’m gathering up some extra diapers and a bottle to take with us, my phone dings.
Madz: Upto today?
I type out a reply. Going to take Micaela out somewhere. Dunno where.
Madz: I want to come! Be there in 5.
I put my phone down and pick Micaela up. “Your aunty Madz is a little pushy, but she loves the shit out of you.”
Micaela looks between my eyes and my mouth, a gummy smile beams up her beautiful face. “No.” I shake my head. “Please no.” Tilting my head sideways. Micaela’s smile turns into a half smirk, one dimple sinking in completely, her eyes still on mine in fascination. “Fuck!” I exhale and then flinch. “Sorry, baby, but fuck,” I whisper out, annoyed.
“What’s up?” Madison says, walking through the front door.
“She has his grin.”
Madison cracks up laughing, pushing her glasses out of her eyes and onto the top of her head. She looks me up and down. “I can’t believe you’ve had a kid. Like everything shrunk, but your ass and that is a very, very good thing…”
I roll my eyes, handing her Micaela as I gather up the last of our things. “I have stretch marks, Madz. Stretch marks!”
Madison looks me up and down. “I didn’t see any on your stomach.”
“My thighs!”
Madison rolls her eyes. “So, some people have them without getting an adorable little girl. Be grateful.”
“I am!” I snap, putting my Ray-Bans on my head. “I was just saying, I’m not perfect and I’m not one of those moms who get like, nothing and get all nice and skinny straight away. I had to get abducted by my crazy sister to not eat and lose the weight.”
We make our way outside when Madison stops, looking at me. “Wait, what car do you have?”
I bring the keys up to her, and her eyes go wide. “Oh wow, they’re giving you the G-Wagon?”
“They’re not giving it to me, I’m just borrowing it.”
Madison smiles at me like I’m crazy before we go toward the door that leads to their glass show garage.
Madison taps the light switch and after a few flickers, they flash on and— “Oh my God.”
Madison laughs. “Yeah, our family is a little over the top. Well, Dad is. He’s always been a car guy, but this is nothing. You should see Bishop’s dad’s garage. It’s insane, I mean, cars on platforms.”
I shake my head, looking over the line of roughly around twelve cars. The G-Wagon, there’s a Porsche, a Range Rover, another big SUV, Cadillac, I think, and a few other small sports cars.
“Insane.”
I beep the white G-Wagon and cup the window to try and see inside through the tint. I can see the outline of a baby car seat. Everything is so full on. I feel like I don’t deserve all of this shit and I don’t know why, but it makes me feel dirty. Like I planned to have Nate’s baby for this reason.
Sighing, I open the door and Madison clips her in. I jump into the driver’s seat, afraid to touch anything. “It smells new.”
Madison slips in, pointing to the dash. “Because it is. They only got it a couple of weeks ago.”
It feels like a set-up.
“Where should we go?” I ask Madison as we reverse out of the garage. I slam on my brakes when I see Tate standing there, tears down her face. “Oh for fuck’s sake. Can we have one day.”
I get out of the car, Madison right behind me. “What are you doing, Tate?” I swear, if she has come around to cry about Nate being Nate to her, I’m going to hit her.
Hard.
She swipes her eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, okay, I shouldn’t have been messing around with Nate since you got back—” Her eyes go to the car, and then come back to me and Madison.
“He told you to fuck off, didn’t he?” Madison says, crossing her arms. I never noticed the distance between the two of them until now. Was Madison taking my side over this? That would surprise me. I love Madison, always have, but her and Tate are tight. Like the real deal tight. I was the third wheel in our little triangle, I always felt out of place. For the exact reasons Nate mentioned last night. Thinking of that only annoys me so I bring my attention to the problem at hand. Another product of Nate’s stellar decision making.
“Yes,” Tate admits. “But that’s not why I’m here. I mean, he always tells me to fuck off, and he did punch Spyder last night for legit touching Tillie. Listen.” She clears her throat, and I can’t help but think Nate’s lips have been all over her. Everywhere. Down her neck, over her lips. I feel sick.
I need to simmer down. “Why are you here?”
Tate comes up to me, her hands reaching for mine, but I pull them away. “Don’t touch me.”
