“What a creative way to add texture to a wall treatment,right?” Allie hustled past that spot—and dozens of similar spots on the floors and walls—and toward the bathroom. “I think you’ll like this area of the house.”
But Lucy hadn’t budged. Instead, she was staring at a mark on the wall near the gum, her brows drawn together. He moved beside her and got a better view of the mark’s shape.
Oh.Oh.
Well, given the previous use of the bus, perhaps they should have expected as much.
Lucy scanned the wall and ceiling, squatting to study other marks closer to the floor. Then her peaceful expression fractured, and she started giggling.
“Allie…” Her body was shaking with her laughter, her brown eyes bright. “D-did you see what’s all over the walls?”
Allie bit her lip. “This bus features many fine examples of outsider art. It’s truly an outstanding value.”
“Outsider art? Is that what people are calling these now?” Lucy snorted. “When we went to school, I believe they were just dick drawings. Lots and lots of dick drawings.”
“Cut!” Jill yelled.
After a moment, Lucy managed to calm herself. “I apologize, Jill. I just hadn’t anticipated so many penises”—she snorted again—“in my potential house.”
He couldn’t help himself. “Don’t neglect the balls.”
She bent over laughing again. “Y-you’re right. I was wrong to ignore the lovely, h-hairy balls also included in the drawings.”
Like him, Jill and the crew were snickering to themselves. Even Allie, to his surprise, had cracked a smile.
“The cameras won’t focus on the, uh, outsider art.” After wiping her eyes, Jill got back to business. “As long as you don’t use the termdick drawings, though, feel free to talk about what you see.”
“What term should I use instead?” Lucy raised her brows. “Penis pictorals? Tumescent tracings? Sack-related sketches?”
The sparkle was returning. He could almost see her brighten, minute by minute.
Jill waved a hand. “Whatever you want. Alliterate away. Just no dicks, pricks, or cocks, please.”
He could have sworn he heard Lucy mutter, “Speak for yourself.”
But then the cameras were rolling again, and they were moving toward the miniature kitchen. As they went, he scanned overhead and beneath his feet. No additional insulation, as far as he could see. Patched original floors. Gum and dicks everywhere. Whoever had converted the bus hadn’t devoted a great deal of money or care to the process.
The kitchen area appeared workable, however. A square of tiled counter, a small sink, and four electric burners on the stovetop. The tiny oven might even be able to fit a tofu turkey, if Lucy shoved it in there hard enough.
“This kitchen features everything you need for Thanksgiving dinner,” Allie declared.
Lucy opened the oven door and glanced inside. He stooped beside her, and she turned her head to whisper to him. “No dicks in the oven. I’m kind of disappointed, to be honest.”
“Cut,” Jill called again. “Lucy, the mic is more sensitive than you’d imagine.”
Lucy bit her lip, but couldn’t stop herself from responding. “As are dicks.”
For that, he high-fived her. “Nice.”
“Don’t encourage me.” She stood again. “I’m sorry, everyone. I’ll get a hold of myself, I promise.”
Manfully resisting aget a holdjoke, he composed his expression once more.
“Why don’t you two do what I call the butt-bump test?”The producer pointed to the stove. “Lucy, you stand in front of there like you’re cooking. Sebastián, you stand at the café table across from the oven. Face the windows and pretend you’re eating breakfast or something. Let’s see if you have enough room to work without bumping butts.”
He and Lucy got into position. The crew began filming again. And sure enough, when Lucy opened the oven and pretended to put something inside, they were touching, just as Jill had predicted.
Lucy’s soft, rounded bottom pressed up against him, and the world dropped away.
