Oh, no. She knew now where this was leading, and her heart folded in two.
She levered herself over him, positioning her body so she was resting full-length on top of him, a human blanket. “You couldn’t get out.”
“They were dark. And really tight, even for a small kid like me.” He took a shuddering breath beneath her. “I sometimes…um, panicked.”
“Of course you did. Anyone would.” She cupped his cheek. “I’m so sorry.”
When they’d attended Marysburg High together, the school had been overcrowded, underfunded, and understaffed. Unless parents chose to raise an enormous fuss, things like bullying had gone largely unnoticed and unpunished. She’d alerted trustworthy teachers to the incidents she’d seen, but Sebastián had refused to share his story. And she knew her friend. He would have convinced his parents to let the matter go, if they’d even known about the bullies in the first place.
“Don’t apologize. You tried to help.” His breathing became deeper again, slower. “I wouldn’t let you.”
“Does this space bother you?” Despite the relatively high ceilings, the bus owner had squeezed the bedroom into a small area, and she didn’t yet understand the extent of Sebastián’s claustrophobia. “I’ll get up, so you can have some breathing room.”
When she tried to move, his arms wrapped around her, holding her in place. “No. I’m fine here. And having you with me changes things.”
“How?” She let herself drape over him once more. Her ear rested on his chest, and his heartbeat, strong and steady,echoed in her head. “I chatter so much that you can’t think?”
Jarrod had told her that. He hadn’t meant it as a compliment.
Sebastián’s hand slid slowly up her spine. He gave the nape of her neck a gentle squeeze, while his other hand rested at the small of her back, heavy and warm.
The touch was pure comfort and pure excitement at the same time.
“Whether you talk or not, you’re a potent distraction, Lucy.” His fingers probed at her neck muscles, finding tension and kneading it away. “And hearing your voice is usually the highlight of my day.”
She stilled beneath his hands. For years, she’d assumed her occasional wistful imaginings were one-sided. But now…
Raising her head, she looked down at him. His lips were parted, his eyes dark and heavy-lidded. Heat streaked across his cheekbones, and beneath her that predictable physical reaction had occurred again. Because he wanted her? Or because a woman, any woman, was lying atop him?
He offered her a small smile. “There once was a girl from Virginny, who looked at a bus that was mini. She saw many big dicks, and for one final trick, against her friend’s fears she did win-ny.”
“Holy fuck, Seb.” She buried her face against his shirt and laughed. “That may be your worst limerick yet. You rhymedVirginnyandwin-ny.”
When she raised her head again, he was laughing too. “Also, the bus isn’t actually mini, but such are the compromises of literary genius.”
His face had lit with amusement, his cheeks creased in that adorable way she’d seen far too few times, and never in such close proximity. His expression was open andunguarded, and he’d just shared more of himself with her than ever before.
In that moment, Sebastián Castillo was the most beautiful sight she’d ever witnessed. Nothing else could compare. Not sparkling Hawaiian waterfalls or snowcapped Alps or lush Caribbean rain forests. Not smooth orbs of amethyst or hearts carved of rose quartz.
Still smiling, she leaned forward. And before she could change her mind, she pressed her mouth to his for the first time in over fifteen years of friendship.
He froze in place. She took a split second to appreciate the plush give of his lips beneath hers, the startled rush of his breath, and the exciting brush of stubble against her cheeks. The warm scent of sage and sea salt she’d noticed that day. The way he tasted like mint and—something. Like Sebastián, she supposed. Like the safest place she’d ever been.
Then she moved to his side before the kiss turned from plausibly platonic to undeniably erotic. She’d signaled her willingness. If he wanted more, he’d have to take it. He’d have to say something, do something. He’d have to take a chance and trust them both.
Chest tight, she waited for him to reach out and grab hold of her.
But he didn’t. Instead, he clambered out of the bed and strode outside, his face flushed but unreadable once more.
She gathered the tarp, palmed her worry stone, and followed him, pasting on a smile for their audience.
Of course he hadn’t grabbed hold of her. Her conviction that he wanted her as more than a friend couldn’t be trusted, because her judgment couldn’t be trusted. She was silly and naïve and confused, as she’d been told many times before.
She should have known he wouldn’t reach for her. But it still hurt that he hadn’t.
And since she had no desire to experience that pain or overstep the bounds of friendship again, she wasn’t reaching for him a second time, whatever her foolish heart might insist. Period.
As soon asHairy caught sight of Sebastián’s house, he began barking and leaping toward the door, like the deluded, lovesick dog he was.
