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As I watch Henn furiously tapping out a text, my drunken eyes fixate on the gleam of his metal wedding ring. And, much to my shock, I find myself envying him for that ring. For being a marked man. For getting to broadcast to the world, he’s got a wife somewhere in the world. A woman who pledged her eternal love to him in a legally binding ceremony.

I look down at my bare ring finger and think it must be cool to have a ring like Henn’s. I mean, assuming the woman wearing my ring, in return, was Georgina.

“Reed?”

I look up. It’s Alonso talking to me. The birthday boy. He’s pointing at my empty glass, asking me if I want a refill.

“Yeah. Sure.”

“Henn?” Alonso asks.

Henn barely looks up from his phone. “No. Thanks.”

Alonso takes my empty and heads to the bar, at which point I lean into Henn.

“Everything all right, buddy?”

Henn sighs and looks up from his phone. “Hazel’s running a high fever. Hannah’s at Urgent Care with her now. I’m totally freaking out.” He rubs his forehead and, again, my drunken eyes notice the gleam of his wedding band. “Hazel’s never had a high fever. Only low-grade ones when she’s teething.”

“Reed!” a female voice says, drawing my attention away from Henn.

It’s Corinne. An ex-girlfriend of mine. An actress I dated exclusively for about three months a couple years ago, until boredom set in—at least, for me.

I hug Corinne hello. She kisses my cheek and links her arm in mine as I quickly introduce her to my friends. After introductions have been made, she pulls me aside and tells me she’s elated she ran into me tonight because she’s been thinking about me a lot lately—a ton, actually. In fact, she had a dream about me, just the other night! A really sexy one! Ha, ha! Which made her wonder if maybe we should—

I cut her off. Tell her I’ve got a girlfriend. And that’s when it hits me, like a Mack truck. Girlfriend isn’t enough. Even as I say the paltry word, I can plainly see Corinne’s lack of respect for it. And why not? It’s what Corinne was to me, once, not that long ago. And she wasn’t anything special to me, though I liked her well enough. She was nothing but a brief distraction. Not even in the same universe as Georgina.

Suddenly, I can’t stand the hideous word. Girlfriend. How can I use that word to describe Georgina, when I’ve already used it on someone like Corinne? And so many others before her? Georgina is the sun. And every woman who came before her, an LED lightbulb. And yet, here I am, slapping Georgina with the same label used for Corinne and everyone else? Shame on me.

In a flash, I’m desperate to get away from Corinne. So, I tell her there’s someone she has to meet. I tell her it’s “serendipity” she ran into me tonight, so she could meet this particular friend of mine. Without waiting for her reply, I lead her to Ethan at the bar. I tell Ethan Corinne is an actress. “A talented one.” Which is true. I tell Corinne Ethan is a “hot-shot producer” of some of the “best independent films I’ve ever seen. Some of which have made me a shit-ton of money.” Also, true. And then I bid them adieu. And why not? Besides the obvious business connection, Ethan is rich and powerful and young and good-looking. And Corinne is talented and magnetic and gorgeous. I hope they fall madly in love and make a minivan full of babies together. Peace out.

I turn to go, but before I do, Ethan catches my eye and flashes me a look that plainly asks if she’s fair game.

I nod and flash him a resounding, Godspeed, in reply. And then I’m gone, heading back to Henn to find out the latest on Hazel.

But Alonso finds me before I’ve reached Henn and hands me my refilled drink.

“Thanks.”

“No need to thank me,” Alonso says. “You’re the one who bought it.” He motions to Ethan and Corinne at the bar. “What the hell, man? I’m the birthday boy. If you didn’t want her, why not introduce her to me as a birthday present?”

“Because she’s an actress, and you sell life insurance.”

“All the more reason to help a brother out.”

“She’s out of your league, Alonso. Actresses don’t date insurance salesmen, any more than squirrels date bumblebees.”

As I gulp my drink, Alonso babbles a bunch of shit I don’t care about. So, when my drink is done, I ditch Alonso and stride over to Henn. Not surprisingly, he’s still tapping furiously on his phone, looking worried and frazzled.

“Any update?”

“Yeah. Thankfully, the doctor isn’t too worried. She told Hannah exactly what to do. So, she’s heading home with Hazel now.”

“Keep me posted.”

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