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“Our album had just come out and the ‘People Like Us’ video was just starting to go crazy viral. We were in London for rehearsals and promo for a short bit before heading out. So, the Goats and I went out to a pub one night with C-Bomb. He’s the drummer for RCR.”
She nods knowingly.
“And these girls recognized C-Bomb. When he introduced us to them and said we were their opener, one of them freaked out because she’d seen our video. Dax and Colin weren’t interested in her. And neither was C-Bomb. So, she eventually gravitated to me and started gushing about how much she loved the song and how great I was in the video . . . It was the first time I’d been ‘recognized,’ so to speak. And it was a blast for me. It made me feel like a genuine rock star for the first time.” I take a deep breath. “We eventually left the pub and went back to C-Bomb’s suite at the hotel. We partied in a big group for a while. And then, the girl and I headed to my room, where she devirginized me, although I didn’t mention that’s what was happening.”
I don’t know if Alessandra wanted to hear all those details, but once I got talking, I couldn’t stop. I’ve never told anyone that story before. And I guess I wanted her to understand the real me. I wanted her to know that, even when I finally got laid for the first time, it was with a girl who’d initially flirted with Dax and Colin, not me. Even as I had sex with that British girl, I knew I was nothing but her consolation prize. Her fourth choice. I knew she hooked up with me only to have a story to tell her girlfriends afterward. Because, hey, I was that dude in that music video! I didn’t care about any of that back then, though. I just wanted to finally get lucky, especially by a cute girl with a cool accent. I guess I just want Alessandra to understand where I’ve been, so she understands why I want her so badly now.
“No regrets,” I say, my heart crashing. “She was nice and had a cool accent. And I was relieved to finally get the monkey off my back, so I could stop lying to my friends. But I want you to understand that first time for me is basically the template of every time since. I haven’t had a serious girlfriend, as I mentioned. So I’ve never had the experience of being physical with someone who actually cares about me, in any genuine way.”
Alessandra processes that for a moment. And then, “What do you mean you were relieved not to have to lie to your friends anymore? You mean about being a virgin?”
“Yeah. I’d told my friends I’d had sex during my senior year in high school, just because I was so sick of being the last man standing, by a long mile.”
“Who was the girl you supposedly slept with back then?”
“She didn’t exist. My dad lives, like, an hour away from where I grew up, and I used to visit him regularly. So, I told my friends I had a girlfriend in my dad’s neighborhood.” I roll my eyes. “It actually became a rather elaborate web of lies. I’m not proud of that, by the way.”
She looks sympathetic.
“Anyhoo . . .” I exhale. “I’m only telling you this stuff because I want you to know me. The real me. Even the lame stuff. Because I want you to feel like you can tell me anything, too. Even the lame stuff.”
“Thank you.” She bites her lip. “I get why you lied to your friends. I hate the way everyone at school is constantly talking about their sexual exploits. No judgment on them. But I always feel like such a freak around them. Like such a Goody Two-shoes. To be honest, just holding your hand at the party was a huge thrill for me. Every time you took my hand, I thought I was going to explode from excitement. How pathetic is that?”
“Pathetic? No, Ally. Listen to me. I’ve had sex, many times, and holding your hand made me feel like I was going to explode from excitement, too.”
“It did?”
“Swear to God. Just that simple touch made my heart rate skyrocket as much as any . . .” I stop myself. Blowjob. That’s the word I was going to say. But, obviously, that’s not the right word to use. “Kiss.”
She throws up her hands with sudden energy. “Speaking of which, why the hell didn’t you kiss me that night?”
I scream in frustration, making her laugh. “I wanted to so badly!”
“I was trying to give you green-light signals all night long!”
“I’m so sorry. I was finally going to do it when Frick and Frack showed up with Reed. The fact that I missed out on that kiss, by mere seconds, has been torturing me ever since.”
