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“Shit. Why didn’t you say that in the video?”
“I did, dumbass. Repeatedly.”
“Well, you didn’t make it clear enough.”
He scoffs. “Trust me, do The Sure Thing on her tonight, exactly as instructed, and you’ll take her places she didn’t even know existed.”
“Don’t be stupid. I’m not going to even attempt The Sure Thing on her tonight! You heard Ryan. He said she has to get her sea legs first, and we’re not even close to that milestone yet. Last night was her first time, Peenie. Jumping straight to The Sure Thing on Night Two would be like dragging a woman who’s never ridden any kind of roller coaster straight onto the Takashiba.”
“The Takashiba?”
“It’s this megatron roller coaster in Tokyo. I ride it every time we play a show there and nearly crap my pants, every time. Put it on your bucket list. It’s life changing.”
“Thanks for the tip.”
I glance at Alessandra again. She’s still engaged in conversation with Georgina and the makeup artist. I say, “There’s still plenty of stuff I need to do with Ally to help her get her ‘sea legs’ before we even attempt any of the more advanced stuff. Baby steps, man.”
“Ah. I see. Give me your phone.”
“Why?”
“Just do it.”
I give him my phone and tell him the code when he asks. And he returns it with a “Ball Peen Hammer” video cued up—a video entitled, “Give Your Woman Oral Sex That Will Make Her Scream!”
Keane winks. “Do your woman a favor, and watch that video at least ten times before tonight, Fish Filet. You’re welcome.”
Twenty-Eight
Fish
“That was great, Alessandra,” Maddy says soothingly, when Alessandra finishes her second run-through of lip-synching her song for the cameras.
But even from here, I can tell it wasn’t great. Not at all.
Alessandra has looked stunning over there on that small stage, as she’s sung and played her guitar along with the track. In fact, when Alessandra first walked over to me earlier to show me what the makeup artist had done to her, my jaw practically dropped to the floor at how stunning she looked. But the minute Maddy asked her to begin lip-synching with the cameras rolling—and every crew member staring intensely at her—her sparkling ease when she showed me her makeup vanished, instantly replaced by self-consciousness.
It’s perfectly understandable for Alessandra to need some time to settle in and get comfortable in front of the myriad cameras and crew. She’s a complete newbie, after all, and this is quite a production. Far more so than she was likely expecting when Reed first told her about his planned music video. Surely, any newbie, other than a total extrovert like Keane, would react to this situation the same way Alessandra has been doing. Like she’s made of wood. Unfortunately, though, even if Alessandra’s stiffness is understandable, we simply don’t have enough time in today’s crammed shooting schedule for her to slowly figure her shit out and find her sparkle. Somehow, she needs to do those things on a bullet train.
“Are you sure that was okay?” Alessandra says to Maddy.
“It was great!” Maddy chirps. “How about we try it one more time, just for fun, even though we already have everything we need. Only this time . . .” She gives Alessandra some gentle direction. A little nudge. While, somehow, keeping any hint of panic out of her voice.
Alessandra takes a deep breath. And it’s suddenly clear to me the next time through is going to be as big a shitshow as the prior two times, if I don’t step in. I have no desire to usurp Maddy’s authority or hijack this situation. On the other hand, I know what’s at stake and how little time we’ve got to get this performance footage, and get it done right. All the rest of the storyboard is fun and cute, but if Alessandra can’t play and sing her song with confidence and charisma, everything else is going to fall flat.
I stand. “Hey, Maddy?”
Maddy pauses and turns around to face me.
“Sorry to interrupt. I was just wondering if you’d mind me standing behind the barista counter during this next time through?” I point toward the counter, which is immediately across from where Ally’s seated on a stool. “Seems like you’ve got a lot of footage of Ally looking at Camera A already. Would it screw things up in terms of your camera setup if Alessandra sometimes sings to me over there?”
Maddy visibly exhales with gratitude. “That’s a great idea, Fish. Yeah, we’ve got enough footage of Ally looking into Camera A. Thanks, Georgina.”
“No problem,” Georgina replies. She’s been standing next to Camera A, as a focal point for Alessandra, this whole time.
Maddy continues. “Give us five minutes, Fish. We’ll put a camera and light setup on you, too. Might as well have the option of using whatever footage of you we might capture during Alessandra’s next run-through.”
