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I was just going to have to suck it up and find a way to deal.
Chapter 4
Sin
Tossing my towel on top of my gym bag, I squinted at Gray, who was just coming out of the showers, whistling. The asshole was only weeks away from having Kassa coming to live with him, and he was both happy and edgy. I didn’t trust that combination coming from my best friend. He was an unpredictable motherfucker when he was like that.
“He scares the piss out of me when he’s like this,” Kale muttered a few feet away, where he was rubbing his hair dry with his own towel. “One second, he’s on top of the world. The next, he is ready to kill someone for looking at him the wrong way.”
“I think we will all be happier once Kassa is living out here,” I told him, pulling out a fresh T-shirt from my locker.
“Amen, brother,” Kale groaned.
“We going to First Bass tonight or not?” Gray asked, opening his locker.
“It’s Thursday. You know Sin is going,” Kale said with a laugh. “He’s going to go watch the Blondes and then take some chick home to fuck his witch out of his system.”
I flipped him off, but I had no real defense. For the last six weeks, that was exactly what I’d been doing. Roanna, with her hypnotic voice and incomparable beauty, was driving me fucking crazy. She was the one I wanted, but every time I tried to get near her, she seemed to turn to stone before my eyes. Warning bells were going off left and right where she was concerned, but she wouldn’t even talk to me.
I left the club every Thursday night pissed and disappointed, and I ended up taking out my frustration with some random hookup whose face I could never remember the next day. It was twisted and sick, but I was trying to fuck Roanna out of my system.
The real problem was that it wasn’t working. She was still all I could think about, and I was starting to come to the realization there weren’t enough pussies in the world for me to get her out of my head.
“I’m down with going to the club,” Gray announced. “I could go for a few beers and a blow job tonight.”
“You and Jace giving Kas a welcome home party?” Kale asked as we walked into First Bass a while later.
“She told us she doesn’t want one. I’ll probably take her out to dinner and bring her by the club. Whatever she wants to do is fine with me.”
We walked over to the bar and ordered beers. Nate placed the brown bottles in front of us before getting drinks for the soccer player and his wife beside us. Kale paused to talk to the couple, but I was already moving toward the balcony that overlooked the first floor.
It was almost time for the Blonde Bombshells to take the stage. My fingers tightened around the bottle in my hand, fighting the need to see Roanna. My ADHD gave me an addictive personality. All my life, I’d struggled with this side of myself, medicating myself just so I could stay focused. But the pills didn’t stop the cravings when I grew too attached to something—or in this case, someone.
I couldn’t let her have that much control over me, though. Couldn’t give in to these mind-bending cravings that made me want to just be in the same damn room with her. It was a sickness that was going to destroy my sanity if I wasn’t careful. It was what fucked up my dad, and I wasn’t about to let it happen to me.
Yet, even though I told myself I wasn’t going to let this newfound addiction take hold, I couldn’t seem to make myself stay away from First Bass every Thursday night. I had work tomorrow night, should have been home getting some sleep. But instead, I was there impatiently waiting to see her face so I could have my next fix.
“Figured I’d find your ass here tonight,” Cash said as he came up beside me, sipping on a glass of whiskey.
I shot him a glare but turned my attention back to the empty stage below. “Did you need something?”
“Just some stoic company. I was bored at home, figured I would come drink with your broodiness for a while.”
“Kale and Gray are over at the bar. Go hang out with them,” I told him, not wanting anything to distract me from the band’s set.
“Gray’s in one of his moods tonight. I’d rather not get punched in the face. Did you see how he rearranged that one dude’s face last week? Just for getting in his way. Yeah, no thanks, bro. I like my pretty face just the way it is.”
I grunted. “We will all be happier once Kas is out here with him.”
“But will she be with him?” Cash asked the million-dollar question.
“If he’s smart, he will lock her down fast.” But Gray wasn’t particularly smart when it came to Kassa. He’d been fighting his feelings for her a lot longer than he probably realized. I doubted he would stop just because she was suddenly living under the same roof with him once again. The dumbass.
Below, the lights were starting to dim, and I watched in the near-darkness as the band took the stage moments before the spotlights were turned on, showcasing the beautiful blonde front and center. I tuned Cash out, mesmerized by the smile on Roanna’s face. It would be gone the instant she left that stage, so I needed to soak up every moment of it now.
The air in my lungs felt like it was being vacuumed out as the first lyrics of the song filled the club. In the past few weeks, I’d learned their setlist fairly well. They threw in a few different songs to change things up but mostly kept to the crowd favorites. My fingers tapped on the banister, keeping beat with U2’s “With or Without You.” I was a fan of the Irish band’s song before, but hearing those lyrics come from Roanna’s mouth only made me love it more.
Seamlessly, the first song went straight into the second. Another cover, “Get Lucky,” which had a pop version on the radio a while back. But Roanna turned it into a sultry rock song that had men and women alike salivating over the gorgeous Blonde. My cock throbbed and strained against the confines of my clothing as she played up to the crowd, and I was lost in my own fantasyland, imagining all the dirty things I wanted to do with the sexy-as-fuck rocker.
