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Pleasure filled me, surprising me even more than his praise. “Derrick told me you still have one of my songs in your wallet.”
“I’ve carried it with me since the day you started running around the house singing it.”
“I never knew that until Derrick told me.”
Scott pulled his wallet from his dinner jacket pocket and pulled out a delicate-looking folded piece of paper. “I’ve recopied it a few times over the years,” he admitted as he offered the paper to me. “It got ripped once or twice and I spilled coffee on one, so I had to redo it. But that is word-for-word the song you would sing at the top of your lungs.”
My fingers shook as I carefully unfolded the piece of paper. When I read the verses, my eyes began to sting with tears. It was just gibberish words I must have made up as a kid; they didn’t even really make sense to me. Yet he’d kept them in his wallet, carried them around with him for years when I wasn’t with him. When I didn’t even like him most of that time.
I gave it back to him, watching with tear-filled eyes as he lovingly refolded the creased paper. “Why did you treat me like I didn’t matter when I came to live with you after Mom died?” I demanded in a choked voice.
He raked a hand through his hair. “I knew if I paid you any attention, it would have only made things harder on you with Jillian. You’re right, she is an attention whore, and my attention is what she craves the most. If I let her know I loved you more than her, she would have turned your life upside down, sweetheart.”
“Then why didn’t you divorce her?” I cried.
“Because I was a coward,” he admitted, his voice pained, regret shining out of his eyes. “I didn’t have the balls to face another divorce at the time. When your mom left me, it destroyed me. I missed her, yes, but she took you away from me, too, and moved to the other side of the country. I went from having you there to make things brighter to being all alone. Georgia and Carolina weren’t you, but they filled some of the void of missing my little girl, and I didn’t want to lose that again. So I hid my head and tried to protect you as much as I could.”
His hand reached for Shannon’s, and I blinked, startled because I’d almost forgotten we weren’t alone. No one had spoken or even so much as coughed while Scott and I were talking. It was almost like they’d been holding their breath, afraid to interrupt in any shape or form as my dad and I actually talked for the first time in—ever. “Then Carolina went off to college, and the darkness was back again. Shannon and I ran into each other at an award show, and everything I gave up when I broke up with her flooded back in. I no longer had anything to lose, and I love her so fucking much. With her, I finally realized what happiness really is, and I knew I would face anything to get to have her for the rest of my life.”
“I love you too,” Shannon whispered, blinking back tears.
“I have a question,” London spoke up. All eyes fell on her, including my own. “If you missed Kin so much, why didn’t you share custody with her mom?”
“Legit question,” Jace agreed, his thumb rubbing soothing circles over my shoulder.
Scott’s face became pained again. “We did for a while. I would fly out and bring Kin back with me for a week or so. But then my schedule got crazy with back-to-back movies, and by the time I had was done, Abby was with Carter, and Kin didn’t want to leave her new stepsiblings to come visit me like she used to. The one time I did force the issue, she cried the whole week, and it broke my heart to see her so unhappy, especially when I was the cause of it.”
My heart was pounding as I listened to what he had to say. I didn’t remember any of that because I was too young at the time, but from the moment I met Angie and Caleb, they became everything to me. But I never knew he had tried to stay in my life. I always thought that when Mom and I left, I was no longer important enough to him for him to bother trying to keep me in his life.
“I thought you just didn’t care enough to want to be a part of my life,” I whispered.
“There hasn’t been a day that has gone by where you haven’t been on my mind. But you got mad every time I came to visit you, thinking I was going to tear you away from the twins again. So I stopped coming as much, and then I met Jillian and her girls, and I guess I stopped trying. You being mad at me so much broke my heart, and I couldn’t keep putting either of us through it.”
He reached across the table, his warm hand grasping mine and squeezing so gently, another tear spilled free. “I don’t ever want you to think I don’t love you, sweetheart. Because I do. I always have, and I promise you, I always will.”
A sob got caught in my throat, and I turned my head away. Jace was there, folding me into his arms, letting me bury my face in his chest as he stroked his hands over my hair. I felt his lips at my ear, but it was my right one, so even if he’d said anything, I wouldn’t have heard it. It didn’t matter, though. I didn’t need more words from anyone right then.
I just needed Jace’s arms around me, while my dad still held on to my hand.
Chapter 28
Jace
I lifted Hayat into my arms, breathing in her little baby smells and kissing her cheek as I settled her on my shoulder. I was still terrified I was going to break my little goddaughter, but she didn’t seem nearly as breakable now that she was growing.
She grinned up at me, her dimples popping, and my heart squeezed with love for the little beauty in my arms.
A burp left her, and the grin disappeared, making me pout at her and her godmother laugh at me.
“She’s going to break your heart repeatedly today, I’m afraid,” Lucy said with a giggle. “She’s got a lot of gas going on.”
Proving her mother right, she burped again as I rubbed her back. I kissed Hayat’s cheek again. “It’s okay, you little brat. I still love you regardless.”
As I walked over to the couch where Kin was sitting, she lifted her hands, wanting the baby. I knew from experience that as soon as she got her hands on our little goddaughter, it was game over. I wouldn’t get to cuddle Hayat for the rest of our visit because Kin didn’t share.
My arms tightened around the baby’s back, shaking my head at Kin as I carefully sat. “Nope. I need Hayat cuddles before you steal her from me.” I rearranged the baby in my arms so I could see her beautiful face. “Isn’t that right, my little cuddle bug? Yes, you want Unc to love on you before mean Auntie Kin tries to hoard all the baby kisses.”
“You suck,” Kin grumbled but leaned over my arm to look down at the baby, fingering one of her dark curls. “Auntie Kin is not mean,” she told the baby. “But I probably shouldn’t hold you today. I don’t want to get you sick.”
