The boy snickered and gave a final wave as he trailed his parents down the dock.
Big D’s chuckle rumbled in his barrel chest. “I love kids, man.” A college football injury had stolen all hopes of a pro career as a lineman, and eventually Big D decided to pursue his captain’s license.He’d been Josh’s first mate for ten months, accruing the necessary days at sea.
Josh nodded good-bye to an older couple. “When are you and Mila gonna have a few of your own?”
“Oh, I’m working on it, don’t you worry.” He winked.
When the passengers finished disembarking, the crew got busy, prepping the boat for the morning tour. It seemed a popcorn fight had ensued on the top deck. And one of the toilets was stopped up. Josh handled that one and by the time he washed up, the vessel was clean and ready to be put to bed.
“Coming to Boone’s?” Conner asked. The twenty-year-old worked the snack bar and was new to the crew this summer. His surfer-boy looks and youthful energy made Josh feel every one of his thirty-three years.
“Addison and Big D are going,” he added when Josh paused.
“Yeah, maybe for a while.” He had yet to see Maggie and Zoey, who’d arrived in town yesterday. Part of him was stalling.
“We don’t wanna keep you up past your bedtime, old-timer,” Conner teased as they joined Big D and Addison on the dock.
“That’sCaptainto you, buddy,” Josh said with a grin.
“You coming with?” Addison asked Josh.
“Sure thing. Lead the way.”
“All right,” Big D said. “That’s what I’m talking about. We can catch the end of the Braves game.”
“How exciting,” Addison deadpanned.
Conner edged in beside her. “Don’t worry. I’ll keep you company.” He’d been flirting with her since day one. They’d make a cute couple with their matching blond locks and wide-eyed innocence. But Josh hoped it wouldn’t mess up his crew when things went awry—as they were apt to at their young age.
Conversation flowed among the group as they headed across the marina parking lot and caught the sidewalk. The tavern was only a short walk away and the June evening was balmy. The sun, which had adorned the sky in vibrant pinks, now slipped beneath the horizon, absconding with its brilliant show. The street was lined with towering palm trees, the medians blooming with pink azaleas.
As they walked, Josh’s thoughts wandered to Maggie. She’d taken Zoey to the carnival tonight—had texted a picture of his niece earlier. But they were probably home by now, Zoey curled up with Bunny, the stuffie he’d gifted her at the hospital the night she was born.
It seemed so long ago. Maggie’s pregnancy had been disrupted by waves of grief that came and went at will, each one shattering Josh’s heart. He tried to be there for her—his whole family had. God knew she couldn’t count on her own mom, and it was what Ethan would’ve wanted.
She’d been six months along when she asked Josh to serve as her birthing partner. Perhaps as Ethan’s brother he was the next best thing. Maybe saying yes had been ill-advised, but after everything she’d been through, he could hardly turn her down.
Then Zoey was born, a red, wrinkled, squalling bundle that was somehow the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He felt like so much more than just her uncle. He’d already filled that role two times over, after all. It was the birthing experience, he told himself.
But it was more than that.
He’d carried a torch for Maggie since the day Erin brought her home her freshman year of high school. His thirteen-year-old self had walked through the back door and there she was, sitting at the island with Erin, eating grapes.
She was the prettiest girl he’d ever seen, with doe-brown eyes and a wide, contagious smile. She was tall and long-legged with swimmer’sshoulders. She had sun-kissed skin and lush pink lips. And her laughter was like a song he never wanted to end. He’d fallen in an instant, head over heels.
Later he grew to admire less superficial things: her unrelenting loyalty, indomitable spirit, and dry sense of humor. Erin had brought her around a lot, and Josh made a real nuisance of himself, as teenage boys tend to do when they’re smitten. He did his best to hide his feelings even as he dreamed of the day she’d see him in a different light.
But the two years between them might as well have been the Grand Canyon. He shouldn’t have been surprised when she fell for Ethan instead. But he sure was heartbroken.
Big D’s boisterous laughter diverted his thoughts. But seconds later Josh was once again thinking about Maggie and all the years he’d been on the fringes of her life. These past five years their shared grief had pulled them closer than ever. But her unrelenting love for Ethan held him back.
He hadn’t gotten up the courage to tell her she was the sun his heart orbited. He’d tried so hard to change that. To root her from his heart like a pernicious weed. No man chose to be in love with his brother’s wife. It was a torturous, guilt-inducing quagmire he wouldn’t wish on his worst enemy.
He was scum. A lowlife. The bottom of the barrel.
But he’d loved her first. Also, hadn’t he tried everything over the years? Avoiding her, focusing on her flaws, dating other women and lots of them. Shoot, he’dmarriedanother woman—he really thought he could make it work. But his stubborn love for Maggie had ruined all his relationships, including his marriage, because none of them wereher.Hiding his feelings felt like a boulder on his chest that only grew heavier with each passing year.
But soon he would change all that. First of all, Maggie was back in Seabrook for the summer to say good-bye to Ethan, to move on. In August they would mark five years without him. Together the family would spread his ashes on the water.
