With an impressed nod, the MC took her bid. “Can we go higher, ladies?” There were some grumbles, but no one offered another bid. Lily-Grace’s whole body flashed hot as she walked to the stage and claimed her winning ticket. She couldn’t read the expression on Jesse’s face, and she wasn’t exactly sure she’d made the best choice. Once again, she had no plan.
* * *
Her face was still hot when she joined the other winners out on the hotel pool deck. Jenny and her mother had gone home because Mrs. Yang had “seen all she needed to see,” but Lily-Grace promised she’d text Jenny as soon as she spoke to Jesse. The after-party was surprisingly packed. Every business owner in town, family members, winners and their dates. Except Jesse. He was the only person who hadn’t made an appearance. Mrs. Lovell assured Lily-Grace he’d be out soon, but almost thirty minutes of appetizers and drinks later, she was still making small talk with Mrs. Lovell and her father.
“Maybe I should go find him,” she finally said. “Make sure we’re on the same page if I decide to shank Merry Sharpe with a wineglass.”
“I think we’re all fine with that, but that’s not a bad idea. He’d probably like to talk to you without an audience,” Mrs. Lovell replied.
“Check the employees’ office right behind the ballroom. I saw him duck in there earlier,” her father added. She kissed him on the cheek and then started the trek around the crowded pool deck. She stopped briefly to say hello to Ava and Wren, girls she knew from middle school who were now running their mom’s bakery. Ava was just about to give birth and Lily-Grace did want to catch up with them. As soon as she found Jesse.
She carefully skirted around the edge of the pool, mindful of the new decorative tile that looked like it had been stepped on by many guests. She spotted Neddy and flashed him a smile. She’d have to catch up with him too. Some other time though, when he wasn’t with his highest bidder. Fucking Merry Sharpe.
“My dad has your number?” Lily-Grace asked Ned as she scooted by. They should have kept this part of the affair in the ballroom where there was more space to move around.
“He sure does. You in town for a while longer?” Ned asked.
“I mean, I still have a romantic picnic to see about,” she said with a laugh.
“What are you going to do with all that man?” Merry said like Neddy, her actual auction date, wasn’t standing right beside her.
“Continue to mind my own business,” she shot back. “Excuse me.” She turned and tried to scoot around an elderly couple slow dancing to the ambient music that was coming through the speakers. She didn’t quite make it though. She considered herself competent in heels, but she knew she’d made a mistake not watching exactly where her feet were going, even for a split second. Her heel caught that magical place where tile meets grout. Her ankle rolled and the world suddenly tilted.
Ned reached out for her, bless him. But he missed her hand by a good foot as she fell backwards. Her other hand shot out to break her fall as her hip slammed into the edge of the pool deck, but there was nothing solid under her upper body, just the shimmering blue water. Head and shoulders first, she went under. When she finally figured out what she wanted to do with her life, she’d fit swimming lessons into the schedule. If she didn’t drown.
Chapter 9
Jesse knew he needed to get out to the reception. Lily-Grace could put down a deposit on a large home for what she paid for their picnic and ice cream date. But he wasn’t ready yet. He did everything he could think of. The counting and breathing exercises. He even gave himself permission to cry, but none of that worked. He sat in the manager’s office holding his head in his hands, searching his mind for ways to beat back the humiliation.
He knew virginity was a construct. And even if it was something real and true it wouldn’t matter. He’d had sex before. But just twice, and both times had been an absolute disaster. The times he’d attempted in between—even worse. He had been young and clumsy and nervous and the young women he was with ... well, they reminded him of the Merrys and Fabiens of the world. They just wanted a crack at him.
Obviously, no one in the audience knew that, but that it was said in a roomful of people, and Jesse had had no idea how to react, was bad enough.
This wasn’t how he pictured his life. Every attempt to step up and be the type of man his grandfather would be proud of, that Jesse himself could be proud of, ended with some foolish blunder or cold underestimation that left Jesse wondering what the hell he was doing.
Maybe he shouldn’t run for office. The public side of life would be infinitely more difficult, and when things got hard on the floor of Congress or in front of the press, he couldn’t count to ten or go somewhere and hide. Or worse. Lose his temper. Maybe the ranch was the best place for him. At least there he was the boss.
After Jesse had been honest about what it felt like when he grew angry, Dr. Brooks had given him an emergency contact number. Jesse had pulled out his phone, but his vision had blurred before he could hit the call icon. This wasn’t an emergency, he told himself. Being clowned in front of half the town was just a day in the life of Jesse Pleasant. He wasn’t Zach, with his ease and confidence, and he wasn’t Sam, with his charm and his open heart. And he couldn’t call either of them to tell them what was happening. Zach was still on his honeymoon and Sam was away for the weekend with Amanda. His parents were on their next European adventure, and the rest of his family was currently enjoying the very poolside reception he was avoiding. He was just Jesse, and he was going to have to pull it the fuck together and deal with how lonely and depressing that sad fact was.
He closed his eyes one more time, slowly counting to ten.
“You’re gonna go out there and ignore everyone but your family and Lily-Grace. That’s your focus. Deal with the rest when you talk to Dr. Brooks.” Two more quick breaths and he grabbed his Stetson off the desk and exited the manager’s office. Vega was standing in the hallway waiting for him.
“Oh, hey,” Jesse grumbled.
“Hey. Just wanted to be, you know, available. I know a little panic attack when I see one.” Evie had had them a few times after her head injury and when Vega had been acting as her nurse, she was right beside her, holding her hand and walking her through some pretty difficult moments.
“I appreciate it. I’m okay now.”
“What happened in there, Jesse—”
“I know. It wasn’t my fault.”
“It wasn’t.”
“Where’s Corie?”
“She’s in the bar. You and Miss Leona take your time. There’s a game on.”
