“I would look good in the outfit.”
“My therapist would say this is a time for you to be kind to yourself.”
“Oh yeah? What would Jesse Pleasant say?”
“That I’ve never been in your shoes and I can’t imagine how you feel, but I just want to be there for you.”
“You’re sweet, you know that? I can’t believe I was ready to fight you.”
“I’m a new man. You should expect some deliveries tomorrow,” Jesse said, just as Sade was cut off by Lily-Grace’s ringtone. She reached for her phone, then immediately silenced it. Jesse may have been imagining things, but he could have sworn she tensed at whatever number she saw there on the screen. “More spam callers?”
“Yes,” she said, with a humorous scoff. “I just got this car, but the warranty is already in danger of expiring. My next gig should be putting an end to the spam calls. Wait, did you say something about a delivery?”
“Yeah. You had some good stuff on your Pinterest board.”
“Will it be delivered in a horse trailer?”
“You really want a horse, don’t you?” Jesse said, keeping the other thought that rolled through his head to himself.Because I’ll buy you a horse. I’ll buy you anything.
“I do, but I need to figure out where I’m going to be before I become a horse mom. One step at a time—Hey, you came over here so we could make out.” Before Jesse could respond, Lily-Grace made herself comfortable in his lap. She draped her arms around his shoulders, looking into his eyes, the sweetest smile tipping up the corner of her beautifully full lips. He couldn’t help but laugh when she met his wide-eyed look of awe with a wink. His fingers spread out over her back, feeling the dip of her waist, the curve of her hips.
Jesse wondered how long this feeling would last. This perfect thing between them that didn’t magically fix everything, but that made Jesse feel he was capable of so much more. That he was finally capable of letting someone in. He wanted to share everything with Lily-Grace. He cared for her. He trusted her, and when he thought about what he planned to do next with Golden Gulch, he wanted to end every day talking to her about it. He realized as she closed the distance between them and took his lips in a soft kiss, he cherished Lily-Grace as a new lover and as a friend.
“Stay,” Jesse said. It slipped out, but he couldn’t take it back. “Stay in Charming.”
“And raise horse children with you?” she whispered against his lips before she kissed him again.
“Girl, you’re gonna be a single horse mom. But we can go half on some other things together.”
She pulled back so she could see his face again. “I want to,” she said, her voice soft. “I want to stay. I’ve missed my dad and—there’s you. I need to think about it though. Okay?”
He knew what she wasn’t saying, and it was the smart thing to do. She wanted to do what was the best for her, long term. He wanted that for her too. He wanted her to be as sure as he was. He wanted her to have that same moment of clarity that made her feel, without a doubt, she was taking the right next step. He’d survive if she walked away and returned to the Bay Area, or flew off to some other city or even country to start something fresh, but that piece of his heart she’d carried in her hand since they were nine years old would always be hers, forever.
Lily-Grace smoothed her hand over his chest, soothing the emotions warring inside of him.
“But,” she said. “Your opinions have been added to the record and they will be taken into consideration by the board.”
“I appreciate that consideration.” Jesse pulled her close again, kissing her until they were both breathless.
Chapter 18
Lily-Grace sat on the edge of her bed, still wrapped in her towel. She looked at the jewelry gift box still sitting on top of her covers. She knew Jesse was serious when he said to expect a delivery, but she hadn’t expected her morning to end with two dozen roses and a Vienza tennis bracelet she’d been meaning to buy herself for her birthday. She appreciated that he took her love language seriously and she hoped she was reciprocating in the ways he needed. Their night together hadn’t been as pornographic as she would have liked, but she was happy he’d come over. She was still basking in the fuzzy glow of the time they’d spent together. She couldn’t wait to see him again.
Her phone screen lit up from its spot on the bed, and even though it was a text from Jenny, her mood immediately shifted. He’d only left one message, but Dane had called her three times the night before from an unknown number. She didn’t listen to the voicemail until she was in bed. Same shit over and over.Come back. She’d made her poiht. No reason to throw things between them away.And the worst part. He loved her. She knew he was getting desperate then, but in the most foolish way.
She’d felt strongly for Dane, but they’d never used the L-word out loud. Something in her gut wouldn’t let her do it. She pinned that on the nature of the Dominant/submissive relationship, the terms and conditions of that, and how the sex and the power exchange they shared behind closed doors came first. But now she could see the knot in her gut was trying to tell her something more. That relationship with him lacked a whole lot, including the ease, the silliness, and the warmth she was getting from Jesse. A warmth she realized she didn’t want to live without ever again, even if Jesse wasn’t her one true love.
Knowing that Jesse wanted her to stay, and the soft, gentle way he’d accepted her need to think about it, put Dane’s behavior on stark display. Yes, the bar was in hell. But now she had no doubt in her mind that leaving Dane had been the right thing to do, and while she’d been de-tangling her hair in the shower, she’d finally come up with a plan. Wherever she ended up, she was going to tell Dane that if he contacted her again, she was going to the cops. They were done, and no amount of texts and calls was going to change that.
She looked at her phone again and knew she had to do it now. Waiting would just give him more time to think his persistent hounding was okay. Her finger hovered over his still-blocked contact page, and she realized the last thing she wanted to hear was his voice. She needed to email him. It would save her the stress of all the arguing and sweet-talking he would try to pull if he had her on the line. All the reminiscing. That motherfucker loved to reminisce. It used to be a part of their foreplay, but she wasn’t his anymore, and she didn’t care how hot and heavy things had been between them once upon a time. It was most certainly over, and she had moved on.
Emailing him would also create a paper trail in the event she needed to reach out to the authorities. She didn’t think it would get to that point. Dane liked power and control. He didn’t like to be inconvenienced, and even a friendly conversation with a cop would feel beneath him and a waste of time. He would know she was serious and finally move on himself.
She switched over to her email app and drafted something short and to the point. Their relationship was over. They had no outstanding business between them. She had none of his things, he had nothing of hers. His continued reaching out, especially from different numbers, was beginning to border on harassment and it needed to stop immediately. He had no reason to reach out to her in the future, and should refrain from doing so.
She thought of how to end the email seven or eight different ways, including a middle-finger emoji or a dramatic GOODBYE FOREVER, but she thoughtThis will be our final correspondencewas good enough. She read it twice and then hit send before she could talk herself out of it. She closed out her email and stared at her phone, foolishly afraid of how Dane would react. She didn’t give a shit how Dane would feel when he read it. What his lingering feelings were and whatever emotions the email brought up were his and his alone to deal with, away from her phone and her in-box.
Lily-Grace jumped, her heart lodging tight in her throat as her phone started ringing in her hand. It was her father. She answered, adrenaline making her hand shake.
