“I don’t want to be friends.”
Her smile slipped away. “You don’t?”
“No. Being friends is not what I’m thinking about, dammit.”
The hurt melted away. “Oh.” She licked her lips. “Well, that is different. Your moods are as mercurial as the weather lately.”
“Which isn’t fair to you.”
“Maybe what you need is a little happiness. It doesn’t have to come with strings, you know. It can just be naked happiness with a side of research.”
I frowned.
“You want to know about the lake right?” She inched over, pushing Mouse out of the way with a laugh. “Move, you moose. I think you got the letters wrong when you named him.”
“Mouse is stuck to him now.”
“Yeah, I suppose it is.” She pushed his big butt out of the way, then threw her leg over my middle.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going to kiss you. Then we’re going inside for pizza. Then I might let you take me to bed.”
My hands went to her thighs. “You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into, Phoebe. I’ve got a 747’s worth of baggage right now.”
“Then put it down for a few hours. The baggage will still be there after lunch.” She braced herself on the packed snow and lowered her mouth to mine. “Now shut up and kiss me.”
I lifted my cold hand to cup the back of her neck and dragged her down to me. “Yes, ma’am.”
Her cool lips touched mine and that was the last bit of softness I could find. I’d wanted her for days. The sounds of her breaking apart for me a week ago still stayed in my memory banks on a loop.
I wanted to hear it again.
Taste it this time.
And God, I wanted to do anything but think about my own fucked-up problems. The secret that was sitting in my chest, spreading like a cancer.
“Put it away, Atticus.” She said between kisses. “Put it away.”
I rolled her under me. The layers of snow and clothing made me get creative. I poured it into the kiss. Infusing each stroke of my tongue with concentrated effort. And with each taste, I disappeared into her.
I let go of the heaviness until we were both panting.
A cold nose bumped the back of my neck.
Phoebe laughed. “Can we go inside and continue this?”
I struggled to my knees with a groan. “If I’m not in traction.”
She wiggled out from under me and helped me to my feet. I hooked my arm around her shoulders. “Maybe some water and Advil first?”
“I think we can make that happen.”
We stumbled our way to her porch, snow up past our knees. I crowded behind her up the stairs and she used her butt to push the door open, dragging her mittens off before fumbling with her zipper.
My fingers were frozen and shaking as I stripped off my own layers. Snow crusted my jeans and boots, melting around my feet.
She flipped her sweater over her head, showing white long johns with little pink flowers under her ski pants. Her eyelashes were starred with snow crystals, making her green eyes look huge.
