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“I won’t,” Matt answered, and I wanted to yell at him I wasn’t talking to him, but I couldn’t make my mouth work. My throat was closing. “I’m right here, brother. I’m not leaving you.”
Jos.
I wanted her so fucking bad. Loved her so much, my soul had been holding on by its fingernails in the hope that I would see her for real one more time.
“Tanner!” Matt was screaming in my ear. “We’re almost there. Please, please, just hold on a few more minutes, and then we’ll be there. Bash, fucking drive faster.”
“I’m already doing a hundred and ten! I don’t know where the fuck I’m going.”
“Then do a hundred and twenty! He’s dying.”
“Jos,” I whispered. “I’m sorry.”
Chapter 3
Jos
I jerked awake when a hand touched my shoulder. Gasping, I sat up straight on the little mat Reid and I had been sharing the last few nights in the main room of the MC’s clubhouse.
Reid grumbled in his sleep, turning on his stomach, sticking his little butt in the air, and letting out the kind of sigh only the sweetly innocent were capable of.
My eyes focused on the man crouched beside me, and my heart began to calm slightly. “Daddy?” I whispered, so as not to disturb any of the others sleeping on their own mats close by.
With the MC on full lockdown, all the families were now calling the clubhouse home. There wasn’t much room left for anyone else, even in the main room.
Dad’s eyes were wide awake when they met mine, a guarded look on his face that told me something was wrong. Lifting his finger to his lips, he waved his hand, indicating I should follow him.
Tucking the thin blanket up over Reid, I carefully got to my feet and followed. We walked through the kitchen, which even now was alive with some of the women making coffee and whispering. They all shut up the second I entered the room, and as soon as the door closed behind us, I was pretty sure the conversation picked up right where it left off.
What the hell is their problem?
I got that I’d messed up. Royally, spectacularly. The kind of fuckup that couldn’t ever be undone because I left telling Tanner about his son too long. I was going to have to live with that for the rest of my life. It broke my heart to know my son would be without his father through all the huge milestones in his life, just as much as it broke my heart that the man I’d once foreseen spending eternity with was dead.
Stop it, Jos.
I quickly shut down my mind on those thoughts. They could choke me with guilt later. For now, I had to see what my dad wanted that was so important he woke me up before dawn.
Outside, Raven was pacing back and forth, her phone to her ear as she listened intently. On either side of the path she was wearing out the asphalt on with her boots stood three of her four future sisters-in-law. Seeing me with Dad, Flick shared a quick look with Quinn and Gracie. It was Quinn, sweet, pregnant Quinn, who stepped forward and pulled me into a hug.
I blinked, unsure what I was supposed to do with this. Growing up with a mother who thought hugs made a child spoiled and without my father around, I didn’t experience a lot of physical contact outside of the snuggles Reid loved so much.
On Raven’s next turn, she saw that I had joined the group, and she abruptly ended her call with a sharp, “We’ll be on our way soon.”
Quinn stepped back as Raven pushed the phone into Flick’s hands and approached me. Her face was set in hard lines, but when she reached me, I saw that she was fighting back tears. I might not have known her well, but one thing I did know was that Raven didn’t cry for no reason.
Seeing those tears set my nerves on edge. “What’s wrong?”
She swallowed roughly and grabbed my wrists in both hands, squeezing so hard it was painful. “The guy who killed your grandpa and blew up Matt’s truck?” I gulped, a flash of white-hot pain searing through me, but I nodded. “Bash took some of the brothers to deal with him. They got everyone but the guy responsible. Chickenshit must have known they were coming.”
“Was anyone hurt?” I whispered thickly.
She shook her head, but two tears fell down her cheeks. “No. But…” Her inhale was shuddery, and I felt the tremor all the way to her fingertips, the aftershocks rocking up my arms. “But they found one of our own in the basement.”
I nodded, unsure what she expected me to say about any of this. If the man responsible for Grandpa’s and Tanner’s deaths wasn’t already on his way to hell, then what did any of this have to do with me?
“It’s Tanner,” Flick suddenly announced, stepping up closer to me.
Anger rocked through me, and I jerked my wrists out of Raven’s hold. “I know what I did was wrong, and I’m well aware everyone in this MC thinks I’m a total bitch, but
