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Breakfast is a rowdy affair. Most candidates sit together in the middle of the dining hall as though proving they have nothing to fear from the evaluations. Will is in the center of the group, cracking jokes. He stops to watch as I walk by, take a table in the back, and wait for Tomas.
Nibbling on a piece of bread, I wait to feel the effects of the drug. I don’t notice Will until I hear a chair scraping the floor across from me and see him drop into it.
He takes a bite of an apple and considers me across the table. “I thought you’d like to know I almost died. The last shot you fired burst my appendix. Good thing I don’t really need it to live. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here.” When I don’t respond, his smile disappears. “Okay, I know this probably sounds stupid, but I’m glad I didn’t end up killing you like I planned.”
“You’re right. It does sound stupid.” And because I can’t help myself, I say, “I trusted you.”
“Yeah. That’s your Achilles’ heel. Leaders are supposed to inspire trust. They’re not supposed to actually believe in it.”
“You trusted Gill.”
Pain flashes deep in his eyes. Then it is gone, replaced by a nasty grin. “My Achilles’ heel. After he left, I couldn’t focus on the second round of tests. They’ll call me out on that in my interview, but I think I demonstrated in the third and fourth rounds that I have an ability to focus on the goal.”
“Zandri didn’t mention you doing anything in the third round.”
Will laughed. “That’s because she went first. It wasn’t until you came out and mentioned Roman’s trick with your group that she started to put the pieces together. When the third test ended and none of the other members of our group returned, Zandri realized what I’d done.”
I stare at Will as his confession sinks in. Will made the same choice Roman did—to betray his teammates and eliminate the competition. I should have realized this, but I had been so distracted waiting for Brick to return that I hadn’t paid enough attention to my friends. If I had, Tomas would never have been shot. Then again, without Will, Tomas and I might never have survived our encounter with Roman.
“I thought you were a nice guy, Will.”
“I am a nice guy.” He laughs.
“Nice guys don’t kill.”
“Killing was the easy part. Kind of like killing a wolf back home. You just aim and fire and your problem is solved.”
“You think it’s that easy?” Bile rises fast and hot in my throat. “The blond girl you killed with your crossbow wasn’t an animal. She had a family. Friends. People who loved her. She was trying to survive the test as best she could. Just like you.”
I wait for him to defend his actions. Tell me how it was all necessary. His choice to get a spot at the University.
Instead, Will lowers his voice and says, “Her name was Nina. She was from Pierre Colony. One of the girls who made it to the end went to school with her.”
“Nina.” I think about her bracelet in my bag and am happy to have this piece of information. Knowing her name doesn’t make her any less dead, but it matters
to me.
Will nods. “And no. You’re right. It’s not that easy. The act of killing is simple. Living with it . . .” He looks off beyond me and sighs. “Well, maybe that’s what the whole test is really about. Leaders are forced to kill all the time. Then they have to learn to live with the decisions they make. Just like I’m going to learn to live with mine.”
“You really think that was the point of the fourth test? To learn if you could kill and live with it?”
He shrugs. “I guess we’re going to find out. Right?”
I think about Stacia’s words that so closely echoed Will’s and then of Dr. Barnes, who watched Ryme’s body being cut down while believing it was for the best that she died. And I’m scared Will’s right. That killing and learning to live with it was the point. Since I, too, have killed I do not have to worry about meeting the criteria. But I am no longer certain I want to be a leader. Not if my country values murder above compassion.
I see movement near the dining hall entrance, glance up, and, for the first time today, smile. Tomas. His jaw clenches as he spots Will, but he doesn’t come right over. Instead, he grabs a plate and fills it. If Will is smart, he’ll get lost before Tomas arrives.
Will follows my glance and groans. “I should have known you’d find a way to save him like you saved me. For the record, I’m not so happy to see him alive. No offense.” He leans forward and adds, “I hate to say it, but he still doesn’t deserve your trust, Cia. Or your love. Hell . . .” He looks around the room before his eyes settle back on me. “None of us does.”
Before Tomas can reach the table, Will gets up, gives me another one of his winks, and heads off to rejoin the group.
Tomas sets his plate next to mine, but his eyes are focused on Will. “What did he want?”
Good question. One I’m not sure I can answer. But I try. “To tell me he’s glad I’m alive. He’s not so happy to see you, though.”
A smile crosses Tomas’s lips. “Well, isn’t that too bad? Because I plan on staying here for a really long time.”
“I for one am happy to hear that.”
