I was working toward a double major in English and business with a minor in music education—the harp had played a role in the scholarship. I didn’t know exactly what I’d do with any of that. But I’d liked the few conversations I’d been able to have with Skip about music production and thought there might be a role for me somewhere in the industry.
It was fascinating to me the way that Ryan’s presence grew online—by the time I got to school in 2009, everyone knew her most popular songs and videos. She still interacted with fans directly on her Myspace page back then, and YouTube was taking off. Facebook was really blowing up. You had more access to these artists than ever before—you could actually talk to them, if you were lucky.
And the pictures that were published, the videos, the content—it was all free. It was only the beginning.
Nick
I was really glad to hear that Ryan was coming to LA. Yeah. I mean, it wasn’t like I’d waited for her or anything—I’d seen a few other girls since Vegas, but the timing worked out that I was just doing my own thing when she moved to town.
She called me first, and I liked that. We were taking a break in rehearsal, and my phone rang with her number—when I answered, she said, “Guess where I am!”
“Where?” I was smiling like an idiot already, it was stupid.
“Pasadena.”
“What the hell are you doing there?”
I heard her laugh through the phone. “I live here now, and I’m having a housewarming party this weekend. So if you feel like stopping by ...”
She didn’t have to ask me twice.
It was wild; we were able to just pick up where we left off. I went to her shows, she went to mine; we partied with Kylie’s crowd and hit the LA nightlife every weekend. I think she was still getting used to the attention in those days.
It was cute how shy she was. She’d hide her face behind a menu in a restaurant or duck down in my car driving back from the movies.
I just smiled and waved to the paparazzi. Sometimes I even walked us to the car on a longer route so they could get more pictures. I was used to it, and I wasn’t shy about having someone that good-looking going around town with me. Sorry, but is it bad to want to show off your hot and talented girlfriend?
Look, we didn’t ... we didn’t really talk about what our expectations were about the relationship. We were “seeing each other,” but I assumed she understood the way tabloids put you under a microscopeout there. I thought she understood the loyalty we needed to have to our fans too.
Obviously, that was my mistake. You know what happened next.
Justin
No, I did not go to UCLA just because of Ryan. Have people even looked at the timeline? She moved to Los Angelesafterthe fall semester had already started. I swear, no one actually researches this shit. They parrot each other until they’re all whipped up into a hissy fit.
Mari and I were in the same English class at Hamilton-Wenham, though, I’ll admit that. We went to the same college fair. She and I talked about screenwriting, and she told me they had a good film program, so I applied. Sue me. There was a screenplay I was working really hard on, this idea I had for a sort of tragicomedy portrait about a man who devotes his whole life and all his savings to finding Bigfoot. I wanted to see if I could find a home for it out in Hollywood.
It was a coincidence that the three of us ended up in California together. I hadn’t talked to Ryan in years.
But did I ever wonder if I’d run into her around town?
Sure. Sure, I did.
Ten
Kylie
When Ryan moved to LA, I was like girl, okay. We need to sit down and have a serious talk. It was all good when we were meeting up and partying between tour stops and modeling shows, but if she was going to hang around me and the girls full-time, she seriously needed to let her hair down a little bit.
I asked her outright one day when we were hanging by my pool: “What is with the crosswords anyway? The magazines? It’s weird, Ryan.”
She frowned at me. “I just feel ... awkward,” she said. “I don’t know what to say to anyone. It’s loud, and I can never hear myself think.”
“You don’t have to say anything if you just drink and dance,” I said. It was like she wanted us to be having dinner parties, which—yes, she did end up throwing after we broke off from the model crowd. And I’ll admit that they were incredibly fun. But that was much later.
“Aren’t you worried about all the drinking?” she asked me. I should have been, but I wasn’t, not then. “What if something ... happens?”
I peered through my sunglasses and saw that she was looking out at the pool. I felt pretty stupid, then—obviously, she was thinking of the McCarthy thing. She was probably afraid to drink anything anymore.
