And she answered, “They hired Justin to be a location scout. Tell them what he did, and they’ll fire him. That’s more than punishment.”
There was a long silence in the room before Skip said, “Okay, Ryan. I’ll do that.”
I’m not sure what happened after that meeting, but the next thing I knew, Ryan was in Seattle. I don’t know if Barb or anyone went with her, but I do know Mari was blindsided by it. We didn’t hear from Ryan over the weekend, and the following Monday, she said she still needed some time.
Unfortunately, there wasn’t anywhere she could go to escape the press.
In an la minutespot,aired March 2012
Anchor: ... and in music news, bluegrass star turned pop sensation Ryan Holding became yet another victim of a music leak ahead of the release of her third album,Diatribe, which was set to drop next week. Can the young star handle this setback with grace? Our correspondent Stefan Barnes caught up with Ryan on the streets of Seattle, where the “Shoes on the Dash” singer has escaped to clear her head.
[Footage cuts to a handheld camera; Ryan is squinting into the reporter’s light on a dark and rainy street as the camera follows her.]
Stefan: Ryan! Ryan, can you tell our viewers how you feel about the leak?
Ryan: It’s not a good time to talk right now, I’m sorry.
Stefan: What does this mean forDiatribe? Will it still release on time?
Ryan: I don’t know.
Stefan: Is it true that you were dating Justin William Ayers, who leaked the tracks? What did you say to Justin when you learned what he’d done?
[Ryan stops and glares at the correspondent.]
Ryan: How do you even know about that? That’s private, no comment.
Stefan: Ryan, you’ve known Justin since childhood, is that correct? Did you ever think he was capable of something like this?
[Ryan turns to duck into her hotel, and the correspondent reaches out to grab her arm; Ryan whirls around and throws him off.]
Ryan: Shut UP! Can’t you leave me the f— alone?
Anchor: Moms, cover your children’s ears—Ryan Holding isn’t the sweet Americana singer she once was.
Skip
You’d think they’d have some more decorum. I mean come on, Ryan was still a kid. She was upset. I’d given her that tough love, taught her to expect them to put her under a microscope with a career like hers, and she always said “Occupational hazard” when there was a salacious article or crazy fan.
“Occupational hazard,” with that wry smile of hers. I miss that smile.
She took it on the chin. But ... a person can only take so much. Have you ever heard of a fugue state? It happened to Agatha Christie, dissociative fugue. Sometimes, if a person is under enough pressure or suffers a trauma, they just sort of ... leave it all behind. Forget who they are.
Old Agatha turned up in a spa miles away calling herself Teresa Neele and truly believing she was someone’s mother from Cape Town.
I’m not saying that’s what happened to Ryan after the leak, and I’m not saying it’s what happened after the VMAs. I tell myself it’s a reasonable theory, and then I remember that it would be impossible for Ryan to get anywhere without being recognized.
But sometimes people just snap, change their appearance, slip into another life as a Walmart cashier in Kansas or some shit. Stranger things have happened.
I’ve tried to find her, Elyse, I have. I’ve used all the resources that are available to me.
Wherever she is, I hope she’s not alone.
Mari
The week or so after the songs leaked was ... a weird one.
I had no idea Ryan went up north. I still don’t know why she did it. She wasn’t answering my texts or calls, and I started to get really worried, so I called Jas to see if she knew anything.
